A woman stands in front of a house. She is wearing a full hazmat suit in white. There is a blue hose connecting an air supply to the back of her hood. She peers through her protective face shield at the empty street. There are no cars, no people. She glances back at the house before starting down the desolate road.
She walks for several blocks through a modest neighborhood where everything is still. Cars are in driveways or at the curb. Not all of the trash cans have been put away. Newspapers are piled up and yellowing in one yard. For a second, she thinks she detects motion behind a drawn curtain. She presses on.
She comes to a vacant parking lot where there is an occasional abandoned shopping cart. Gas pumps stand ready for no one. She walks past closed shops at merchandise and dreams of what it would be like to have the items on the other side of the plate glass windows. She wonders what it would be like to even desire such things.
Suddenly, pneumatic doors slide open before her. She steps through and stops. The store is well lit. There is soothing music playing throughout but it sounds artificial with no one to hear it. She advances slowly, looking for signs of life. The store appears well stocked, a cheerful oasis. There are bright colors where the produce is artfully arranged and neatly stacked. She picks up a cantaloupe and raises it to her face shield. She imagines she can smell it. She lets her hand drift over the avocados.
She glances down the aisle and ventures farther into the store. There is fresh meat in glass cases and fresh fish. She turns and passes aisle after aisle, seeing no one, until she comes to a refrigerated shelf stocked with cartons of eggs. She checks her surroundings before reaching for one. Tucked under her arm, she checks again to see if anyone is there. She steals away another carton and begins to move more quickly through the store.
She grabs a carton of milk and then begins to look earnestly for other supplies. She finds water but her hands are full. She kicks a case of water ahead of her on the floor to the end of the aisle. She leaves it to find paper supplies. She comes to an aisle with Kleenex. She sees paper napkins, then paper plates, and, finally, paper towels at the far end. There is a large vacant section in the middle of the shelf that stretches from one end of the aisle to the other.
She carefully puts her procured treasure on the floor and starts slowly down the aisle. She inspects the products that are still on the shelf. She looks at the brand names and the prices. Again, she checks to see if anyone is coming. She continues past the vacant shelves looking deep into their dark recesses until she makes it to the paper towels where she stops to consider her options.
Suddenly, her eyes grow large. She grabs at her face shield. In a panic, she reaches for the shelf and knocks over rolls of paper towels. She whirls around and sees the Kleenex at the other end but it's too late and she knows it. Instinctively, she wraps an arm over her face and sneezes - once, twice - splattering the inside of her shield. Momentarily stunned, she falls to her knees and begins clawing at her face. She coughs and seems to be gasping for breath. Frantically, she tries to remove her hood but has trouble undoing the fasteners. She tears at it but makes no progress. At last, she is able to remove her gloves and rip her hood off. She lies on the floor, breathing hard. She is both relieved and afraid. She's vulnerable now.
She starts to get up and make her way back to her personal stash of food when she hears the squeaky wheel of a shopping cart. She freezes as a man briefly passes through the open space at the end of the aisle and disappears. How long had he been here? His cart was full. In the space of two seconds, she could see how full his hair was, how soft his shirt looked, and how well his jeans fit.
She shakes thoughts of desire from her head and starts to scramble in his direction, back to her unprotected items as quickly and as noiselessly as she can. She trips over fallen paper towel rolls, back past the empty shelves to the front of the store. She begins to pick up her items when she sees the man touching a screen with his bare hands and sliding items from his cart over a scanner, a chipper beep after each one passes.
He turns and sees her. He smiles. He is between her and the door but now starts towards her with an outstretched hand, naked and open. Moving fast now, she reaches her eggs. From her knees she begins throwing them at him. Her first misses but the second connects. He is stunned, the smile falters. He continues towards her and she takes aim, throwing eggs in rapid succession. He puts his arms up to protect himself then finally turns away. He pauses at his cart and considers what to do when she starts again with the second carton of eggs.
Finally, he flees with the doors sliding softly closed behind him. She pants and looks at her hands. They are obviously dirty and after a moment's hesitation she wipes them on the pants of her suit. She stands and once more checks to see if she is alone. The music continues but she hears no other sound. She comes out from the protection of the aisle and starts tentatively towards the door with whatever she can carry from her small pile until she gets to his cart still in the checkout line.
It's in there. She can sense it. She drops everything and digs into the cart pushing things aside, throwing some to the floor until she finds it - a four-pack roll of toilet paper. She grabs it and leaves everything behind. She runs to the door and halts. It slides open but she doesn't step through. The doors swoosh closed then open again. She stands, frozen. The doors close.
She takes a step and the doors open. She clutches the toilet paper to her chest and steps through. Then takes off running.
Sunday, April 5, 2020
Friday, April 3, 2020
This virus is making me go gray. LIterally.
 |
| Simulation - do not try at home. |
For a few years, I've wondered when was the right time to go gray. Some of my friends already have. Some never dyed their hair in the first place.
I started dying my hair about 20 years ago. I was all pepper then, my natural color mostly faded at that point. I always thought of myself as having brown hair. Some of my older photos have embarrassingly shown up on Facebook with very dark hair. People who didn't know me then are shocked when they see them. (Frankly, so am I.)
When I was in high school, I thought it was a medium brown. It darkened in my 20s and then was pretty much devoid of color in my 30s.
It started as color with a few highlights. Over the years, the highlights took over and I became blonde. I remember the first time someone called me a blonde. I'm not blonde! I declared, shocked and slightly offended for reasons that were based in stereotypes. About that time, I shared a photo with my dad who also remarked Whoa! Who's the blonde? Was he kidding or did he truly not recognize me?
Due to the pandemic, many businesses are now closed including hair salons. It's been about five weeks since I last colored my hair which is now becoming obvious. Has sheltering in place provided the answer as to when I go gray?
I don't know if I'm ready, if I'm truly being honest. I only have one hat so something will have to give - either my hair or this pandemic.
Can't we all agree it would be better to do away with this pandemic?
Wednesday, April 1, 2020
For All It's Worth
Remember when we were young and we would look at our bodies and marvel, "Look at this!" Maybe with some pride as when showing off new muscles. Maybe with horror as with a new zit.
Now, we look at our bodies and marvel, "What the hell is this?" Some spot, maybe a bump, definitely sagging. Hair appearing in new places and disappearing from others. Such was the case when I discovered my elbows were becoming dark. They looked as if they were bruised, a dark purple-ish color. Another sign of ageing or dreaded condition?
Naturally, I spoke to Google of my concern. Google provided this response: "Dark elbows occur when your elbows accumulate darker skin than the rest of your arm. . . ." Thanks for that, Healthline.
Among several suggestions such as applying yogurt and oatmeal to the elbows, Healthline recommended moisturizer and sunscreen. That seemed reasonable. The remedy worked.
However, it turns out my dark elbows were neither a dreaded skin condition, nor another sign of ageing. It was my desk chair.
I had recently ordered, and assembled at home, a new desk chair. It was put together within a relatively short period of time and without too much gnashing of teeth. There were no leftover parts after assembly signifying that I must have done it correctly. It was inexpensive, yet comfortable.
As it turns out, the surface of the plastic armrests were rubbing off and staining my elbows within only a few weeks of normal, daily use. I had noticed one of the arms was feeling sticky and it left a tar-like stain on a yellow sweatshirt. I took it for something I might have spilled although I couldn't imagine what that could be. I wiped the arm clean and noticed no further problems.
Soon, both elbows started to darken. Gradually, at first. Until one day, my elbows were smudged with the same tar-like stains as my shirt. The source was now obvious. Luckily, I still had the warranty information. Ready to seek remedy, I noticed the email address for customer service was hosted by Yahoo. This instilled no confidence as to what service they might offer.
I decided I would have more luck putting hand towels over the arms. I can't say it looks very professional but it's better than black elbows. It has the further advantage of making the chair look exactly what it is worth - about $45.
It also has the advantage that if I should ever spill something on my chair's armrests, it will be relatively easy to clean up.
Now, we look at our bodies and marvel, "What the hell is this?" Some spot, maybe a bump, definitely sagging. Hair appearing in new places and disappearing from others. Such was the case when I discovered my elbows were becoming dark. They looked as if they were bruised, a dark purple-ish color. Another sign of ageing or dreaded condition?
Naturally, I spoke to Google of my concern. Google provided this response: "Dark elbows occur when your elbows accumulate darker skin than the rest of your arm. . . ." Thanks for that, Healthline.
Among several suggestions such as applying yogurt and oatmeal to the elbows, Healthline recommended moisturizer and sunscreen. That seemed reasonable. The remedy worked.
However, it turns out my dark elbows were neither a dreaded skin condition, nor another sign of ageing. It was my desk chair.
I had recently ordered, and assembled at home, a new desk chair. It was put together within a relatively short period of time and without too much gnashing of teeth. There were no leftover parts after assembly signifying that I must have done it correctly. It was inexpensive, yet comfortable.
As it turns out, the surface of the plastic armrests were rubbing off and staining my elbows within only a few weeks of normal, daily use. I had noticed one of the arms was feeling sticky and it left a tar-like stain on a yellow sweatshirt. I took it for something I might have spilled although I couldn't imagine what that could be. I wiped the arm clean and noticed no further problems.
Soon, both elbows started to darken. Gradually, at first. Until one day, my elbows were smudged with the same tar-like stains as my shirt. The source was now obvious. Luckily, I still had the warranty information. Ready to seek remedy, I noticed the email address for customer service was hosted by Yahoo. This instilled no confidence as to what service they might offer.
I decided I would have more luck putting hand towels over the arms. I can't say it looks very professional but it's better than black elbows. It has the further advantage of making the chair look exactly what it is worth - about $45.
It also has the advantage that if I should ever spill something on my chair's armrests, it will be relatively easy to clean up.
Saturday, March 28, 2020
As if jumping out of an airplane wasn't dangerous enough
 |
| Clipped from CactusHugs.com 3/26/2020 - link here |
Friday, March 27, 2020
Beautiful
Cactus Hugs | Coachella Valley coronavirus news and info | Thursday evening, 3/26
Mexico has fewer than 500 confirmed COVID-19 cases, while the United States has over 80,000. Now, residents in Sonora, south of Arizona, have promised to block traffic into Mexico for a second day after closing a checkpoint for hours on Wednesday. They wore face masks and held signs telling Americans to “stay at home”
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Lawlessness Reigns
Can you imagine? Hoarding essentials, edging a neighbor out of the way to reach the last package of pasta on the shelf. Wanton beach revelers, ignoring the new norms of social distancing. Kids out of school, store closures; now, parks and golf course closures.
A closed golf course is an invitation for mischief - all that open space. . . . There has been casual walking about without aid of cart or burden of clubs, for example, even as people continue to golf, pilfering as it were, by not paying fees. Some of these ambulators walk the course in reverse order. Chaos!
These thieving golfers - without the rule of law, or in this case course marshals, wear jeans and are sometimes barefoot. How uncouth! I've even heard music broadcast from their bags of sticks. Some drink alcohol! A golfer with alcohol is like a ... well, like a golfer I suppose. Why, just yesterday, I saw several youths - a gang, perhaps! - dressed in black, with funny haircuts, swinging clubs, wildly, at golf balls. An unsightly, if not threatening, siege.
And dogs - on the course, enjoying endless, beautifully manicured green space - that very same scenery generally reserved for the few. The privileges of the paying public are being grossly undermined by such lawlessness.
There's been jaywalking on our vacant streets and golf cart drivers who don't signal turns. A slippery slope should this continue.
What is to become of us?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We do not wish to minimize the very real and difficult struggles of many during these uncertain times. We offer our sympathy and support to those who are affected.]
A closed golf course is an invitation for mischief - all that open space. . . . There has been casual walking about without aid of cart or burden of clubs, for example, even as people continue to golf, pilfering as it were, by not paying fees. Some of these ambulators walk the course in reverse order. Chaos!
These thieving golfers - without the rule of law, or in this case course marshals, wear jeans and are sometimes barefoot. How uncouth! I've even heard music broadcast from their bags of sticks. Some drink alcohol! A golfer with alcohol is like a ... well, like a golfer I suppose. Why, just yesterday, I saw several youths - a gang, perhaps! - dressed in black, with funny haircuts, swinging clubs, wildly, at golf balls. An unsightly, if not threatening, siege.
And dogs - on the course, enjoying endless, beautifully manicured green space - that very same scenery generally reserved for the few. The privileges of the paying public are being grossly undermined by such lawlessness.
There's been jaywalking on our vacant streets and golf cart drivers who don't signal turns. A slippery slope should this continue.What is to become of us?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We do not wish to minimize the very real and difficult struggles of many during these uncertain times. We offer our sympathy and support to those who are affected.]
Monday, March 23, 2020
Never fear! Budweiser is here!
New York Post | Anheuser-Busch, New York distilleries making hand sanitizer during coronavirus crisis
h/t Grump
The company said it would be working with the Red Cross to determine where the hand sanitizer “will be needed most” — while stressing it was being made “in addition” to beer during the time of national crisis.Phew!
h/t Grump
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Taxes, Beer, and Cornhole
The date for filing individual federal income tax returns has moved from April 15 to July 15*, 2020, for tax year 2019. While that might suggest I have three more months to do the same amount of work, the reality is the clients' sense of urgency will also be delayed three months. It just postpones procrastination.
As a result, I had my first day off in several weeks which was wonderful. However, if I have to be under a stay-at-home order, I might as well work since I work from home. Theoretically, these emergencies measures won't last forever and by the time we can all go outside, I will be stuck inside doing some procrastinator's taxes. (Sound ungrateful much?)
 |
| You probably don't feel sorry for me. |
But, when the going gets tough, the tough deliver beer. While local taprooms are shut down, breweries are staying open for growler fills and sale of packaged beer. Some are even offering delivery.
Yesterday, we took advantage and placed an order with La Quinta Brewing and they arrived just in time. I left a tip on the doorstep and backed away. They took the money, left the beer and wished us well. We are well stocked up on that provision, at least.
While we were waiting for our delivery, we found each other. Without work, without going places, we were forced to interact with each other. It's a skill we don't always pay attention to. It's like turning off the radio and paying attention to the road before us.
 |
| Beer here. |
In our deserted community, we set up cornhole boards in the street. The boards are placed 27 feet apart which makes it the perfect game for social distancing. Then, while the pizza was in the oven and we were waiting for our beer, we played Farkel. It was like date-night-in.
We live in a community that is mostly occupied by vacationers, either renting or visiting a second home. Typically the busy time of year, it's now mostly vacant. Canadians and other visitors have all gone home. There are a few left that are enjoying the relative solitude. One family, several houses down from us, includes three small boys who undoubtedly have no idea of what is going on (relative to coronavirus). Rather, they are enjoying unfettered freedom as they run with abandon over the now-closed golf course. Usually off limits, they can run for hundreds of yards within full sight of their parents. They're probably having the time of their lives.
I'm not having a hard time of it either. At least not yet. Food (and beer) are stocked. Plenty of coffee for the time being. I hope the hysteria wears off in a few weeks so we can re-stock as necessary but for now I can't complain. I'm safe and well.
I hope you are, too.
*In case you're wondering, you also have until July 15, 2020, to make your IRA contribution for 2019. April and June estimated tax payments for 2020, have been delayed until July 15th as well. (September and January deadlines currently remain in place.) I haven't seen any information regarding HSA contribution deadlines. State deadlines may differ. (Also, I am not a CPA and cannot give tax advice.)
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
We just don't know.
Our neighbors are roughly 80 years old, in my estimation. Really nice people who asked us over to their house for dinner last night - corned beef for St. Patrick's Day.
It would have been wonderful. They have been great neighbors and it would have been an opportunity to get to know them better. We didn't have any corned beef and Hubby would have loved a night off from cooking. (I have been under the weather for over a week and banned from meal preparation. Plus, it's tax season so I have little interest in cooking anyway.)
We declined the invitation. I haven't left the house since the 7th when Hubby and I took the grandkids out for dinner. With runny noses, they spent the night and went home the next day. I went out for pizza on the 6th and I went to the theater on the 5th where a man sitting two rows ahead of me coughed repeatedly. Somewhere in there, I picked up a bug of some kind.
Besides the fact that I am still showing symptoms of something (currently, I am a phlegm factory), Hubby is still going out into the wild on a daily basis - babysitting the grandkids who are out of school and stocking up on food and, now, cold and cough medicines. With regret, we explained that it seemed unwise to accept their kind invitation. Despite my symptoms and Hubby's forays, the likelihood that we are carriers of the coronavirus are probably low. Still, we don't know.
We just don't know.
What a strange time this is. Yet, octogenarians remind us that this is not the first time in this country that people have self-quarantined. Remember polio? Also, what about stock market crashes? Financial panic?
Knowing we've been there before doesn't make living with today's uncertainty any easier but at least we do know we'll get through it. Eventually.
It would have been wonderful. They have been great neighbors and it would have been an opportunity to get to know them better. We didn't have any corned beef and Hubby would have loved a night off from cooking. (I have been under the weather for over a week and banned from meal preparation. Plus, it's tax season so I have little interest in cooking anyway.)
We declined the invitation. I haven't left the house since the 7th when Hubby and I took the grandkids out for dinner. With runny noses, they spent the night and went home the next day. I went out for pizza on the 6th and I went to the theater on the 5th where a man sitting two rows ahead of me coughed repeatedly. Somewhere in there, I picked up a bug of some kind.
Besides the fact that I am still showing symptoms of something (currently, I am a phlegm factory), Hubby is still going out into the wild on a daily basis - babysitting the grandkids who are out of school and stocking up on food and, now, cold and cough medicines. With regret, we explained that it seemed unwise to accept their kind invitation. Despite my symptoms and Hubby's forays, the likelihood that we are carriers of the coronavirus are probably low. Still, we don't know.
We just don't know.
What a strange time this is. Yet, octogenarians remind us that this is not the first time in this country that people have self-quarantined. Remember polio? Also, what about stock market crashes? Financial panic?
Knowing we've been there before doesn't make living with today's uncertainty any easier but at least we do know we'll get through it. Eventually.
Monday, March 16, 2020
Keeping Portland weird
Not so much weird but ingenious, a Portland (OR) distillery is making hand sanitizer from distillery waste and giving it away. Just keep in mind, you're not supposed to drink it so you might as well pick up some whiskey while you're there.
New York Post | Portland distillery is making free hand sanitizer for customers amid coronavirus shortage
The name of this place is called Shine Distillery & Grill.
Here's to ya. Shine on!
New York Post | Portland distillery is making free hand sanitizer for customers amid coronavirus shortage
The name of this place is called Shine Distillery & Grill.
Here's to ya. Shine on!
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Sunset Magazine - Do You Know Where Your Bottled Water Comes From? Hint: Partially From Drought-Ridden California
" Many companies bottle California’s water, including Swiss company Nestlé and huge American brands like Aquafina (owned by PepsiCo) and Dasani (owned by Coca-Cola). The companies have been criticized for taking from the water supply at high environmental cost to drought-ridden California, while paying shockingly low rates for the water. Many of the brands are no better than what comes out of your sink . . . "
Wednesday, February 5, 2020
Do you know where your grass comes from?
Super Bowl turf grown in the Coachella Valley | KESQ
" Then it gets rolled up and loaded on 40 trucks. That’s how many are needed to fill a football stadium. "
Friday, January 31, 2020
Maybe it's time to move someplace sunnier.
It's sunless in Seattle as city weathers one of the gloomiest stretches in recent history - CNN
" . . . Seattle has not experienced an official sunny day since November 30. "
Monday, January 27, 2020
Monday, January 13, 2020
No rush, exactly, but soon.
IRS to Open Tax Season Jan. 27, 2020 - CPA Practice Advisor
“The IRS encourages everyone to consider filing electronically and choosing direct deposit,” Rettig said. “It’s fast, accurate and the best way to get your refund as quickly as possible.”I don't know about accurate. I filed my 2017 return electronically and the IRS still managed to screw it up. But take comfort:
“As we enter the filing season, taxpayers should know that the dedicated workforce of the IRS stands ready to help,” said IRS Commissioner Chuck Rettig.
Monday, December 30, 2019
Kind of makes you want to live there
Alligators, pricey bananas and naked people: 2019 in Florida - The Columbian
" . . . Florida did not disappoint in the weird news department this year. "
Friday, December 27, 2019
Monday, December 23, 2019
Saturday, December 14, 2019
Alas, its gone.
The Guardian | The pedants’ pedant: why the Apostrophe Protection Society has closed in disgust :
Name: The Apostrophe Protection Society.
Age: 18.
Appearance: Hands in the air, white flag clutched in its fingers.
What’s happened? After a long and brave battle against apostrophe abuse and other common English usage errors, the APS has disbanded.
Friday, December 13, 2019
Looks like a road trip to me
How about a visit to Cincinnati by way of Missoula? Duluth tied for 22nd on the list but I didn't see Des Moines listed at all. (That's okay, we'll probably need a rest stop by then.)
See the whole article here.
Thursday, December 12, 2019
Should we make them of terry?
Were socks invented to covertly mop up errant drips on the kitchen floor?
Universally, me thinks, yes.
Universally, me thinks, yes.
Friday, December 6, 2019
Ants in the Coffee Corner
I have found a new use for Listerine, ladies and gentlemen: ant killer. Let's just say that they would rather live with bad breath than be doused in antiseptic mouthwash. (Do ants have teeth? I wonder.)
In a California hotel, one evening, I discovered a small congregation of ants milling about my inferior but all-too-necessary in-room coffee maker. I don't care what kind of coffee maker it is or the level of quality said maker makes but don't - and I mean DON'T - mess with my coffee. Ants, vermin, pests, voodoo, or crossed eyes anywhere near my ability to make a warm, dark caffeinated beverage - even if it must be in a cardboard cup - are wholly unacceptable.
My intention was to get my coffee set up the night before so, in the morning, all I had to do was press the start button, hop back in bed, and wait for the small plastic machine to burble and sigh its last of good intentions over a pre-packaged pod of ground (presumably) coffee. Instead, I had ants to contend with. I wiped the area with a wash rag but they kept coming in from somewhere. They had no interest in any other part of the room, that I could see. Only the plate-sized, laminated shelf that served as a coffee station.
What other weapon did I have? What stronger weapon did I have?
I always travel with a miniature Listerine. (Yes, I have teeth and I probably have bad breath considering that I drink coffee, not to mention beer.) However, my travel container had started to leak and I knew that I would throw it away at the end of my stay in California. It was time to get a new one, so why not use what was left of the old one on my current problem?
It worked like a champ. It killed the ants and marvelously deodorized the coffee corner. It was probably a good thing the coffee shelf was not real wood as the Listerine might have taken its finish off but I was quite comfortable that it was the cleanest it had ever been. Drowning in Listerine was probably not the nicest way to go, antwise, but it got the job done. I got my coffee maker all set up amidst the burning fumes of concentrated antiseptic.
And slept unperturbed.
In a California hotel, one evening, I discovered a small congregation of ants milling about my inferior but all-too-necessary in-room coffee maker. I don't care what kind of coffee maker it is or the level of quality said maker makes but don't - and I mean DON'T - mess with my coffee. Ants, vermin, pests, voodoo, or crossed eyes anywhere near my ability to make a warm, dark caffeinated beverage - even if it must be in a cardboard cup - are wholly unacceptable.
My intention was to get my coffee set up the night before so, in the morning, all I had to do was press the start button, hop back in bed, and wait for the small plastic machine to burble and sigh its last of good intentions over a pre-packaged pod of ground (presumably) coffee. Instead, I had ants to contend with. I wiped the area with a wash rag but they kept coming in from somewhere. They had no interest in any other part of the room, that I could see. Only the plate-sized, laminated shelf that served as a coffee station.
What other weapon did I have? What stronger weapon did I have?
I always travel with a miniature Listerine. (Yes, I have teeth and I probably have bad breath considering that I drink coffee, not to mention beer.) However, my travel container had started to leak and I knew that I would throw it away at the end of my stay in California. It was time to get a new one, so why not use what was left of the old one on my current problem?
It worked like a champ. It killed the ants and marvelously deodorized the coffee corner. It was probably a good thing the coffee shelf was not real wood as the Listerine might have taken its finish off but I was quite comfortable that it was the cleanest it had ever been. Drowning in Listerine was probably not the nicest way to go, antwise, but it got the job done. I got my coffee maker all set up amidst the burning fumes of concentrated antiseptic.
And slept unperturbed.
Friday, November 29, 2019
Good thing I can make coffee in my sleep.
I'd heard from a couple of sources that eggs made in an Instant Pot were fantastic. I didn't get it. Why? It only takes ten minutes to boil them. How could that be more instant? It's like racing to a red light. Sure, you might get there before me but don't we essentially clear the intersection at the same time?
I don't have an Instant Pot but I do have a pressure cooker so I thought I would try boiling (pressurizing?) my eggs in there. Except, I wasn't quite awake when I did it and now I have ten experimental eggs of unknown doneness.
Apparently, an Instant Pot has a setting for eggs. One has only to push a button. With a pressure cooker, on the other hand, one must pay considerable more attention. Thus, being fully conscious is a good idea. (A good idea, in general, when one is in the kitchen.)
With my first batch of eggs, I forgot to make a pressure selection. Gurgling, water trickled out of the top as the pressure built but not by enough to create much in the way of steam. When the small amount of water boiled off, the pressure cooker fell silent. I anticipate these eggs will be little more than soft boiled.
I realized my mistake so made a second batch. This time I set the pressure setting at high, reduced the heat when it reached full pressure, and set a timer. When the timer went off, I forgot to set another timer to allow for the pressure cooker to naturally release its pressure. Instead, I turned a knob and released it all, shooting pressurized steam at the underside of my kitchen cabinets. Perhaps, these eggs will also be somewhat soft.
I now have ten semi-cooked eggs the condition of which I will confirm when I try to break one open for my breakfast. Perhaps I should set out some bacon and plan on omelettes. Or egg salad.
Or maybe I should stick to oatmeal.
It's In The Mail
I have here before me a letter - one that I received via the United States Postal Service - that reads,
Your request to receive email notices has been received . . . .
Thursday, November 28, 2019
Ashes to Ashes, Pajamas to Pajamas
I didn't used to spend all my time in my pajamas. I used to don my workout gear straightaway upon rising. It seemed more efficient to get my sweating done before showering and dressing. Some people do it the other way around, working out after their day's labor requiring a costume change and, perhaps, another shower.
And so it is that I spend most of my day in my pajamas. I still work out but now I do it later in the day. This turn of events was my downfall. Why should I get dressed for work (which, for me, is down the hall from my bedroom) only to change my clothes later? It's better to stay in my pajamas.
However, the longer I wait to work out, the shorter the remaining time I spend in something other than pajamas. It could be four or five o'clock before I've finished my workout, had a shower, and changed to street clothes (assuming I will leave the condo to see actual people). I'll meet with friends and be home by eight, changing back into pajamas to read a good book or watch TV.
This must not go on. I must either get dressed for work and change for my late afternoon workout or (and I'm favoring this idea) I need to move my office into my bedroom.
And so it is that I spend most of my day in my pajamas. I still work out but now I do it later in the day. This turn of events was my downfall. Why should I get dressed for work (which, for me, is down the hall from my bedroom) only to change my clothes later? It's better to stay in my pajamas.
However, the longer I wait to work out, the shorter the remaining time I spend in something other than pajamas. It could be four or five o'clock before I've finished my workout, had a shower, and changed to street clothes (assuming I will leave the condo to see actual people). I'll meet with friends and be home by eight, changing back into pajamas to read a good book or watch TV.
This must not go on. I must either get dressed for work and change for my late afternoon workout or (and I'm favoring this idea) I need to move my office into my bedroom.
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Rubies and Silence
We heard somewhere that the traditional gift for a fortieth wedding anniversary was rubies. We recently celebrated our thirtieth but didn't exchange gifts so I asked, "What do you suppose it was for 30?"
"Silence," my husband answered, a little too quickly.
"Silence," my husband answered, a little too quickly.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
Zombies in the Park
This happened last Saturday afternoon and I was there. In fact, I'm in the crowd there somewhere, dancing with the zombies. I, myself, was not a zombie so I stayed far in the back but if you spy a yellow duck or chicken on the right side of the screen ... just so you know, that is not me but since it is highly unlikely that you will be able to spot me, that will have to do. I guess you could say, I didn't dance with the zombies so much as with a yellow ducky.
(Here's another video where you might be able to spot me. As I said, I'm close to the duck. I'm wearing sunglasses and there's a whole lot of blonde hair flinging about.)
Thrill The World aims to be a worldwide event that takes place, annually, on the Saturday before Holloween. (I found the Portland group on Facebook.) Dances are performed simultaneously at 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. GMT. Seeing as 10 a.m. GMT would be 3 a.m. locally, I opted for the later time.
" This is a global community project that is inspiring others to break down barriers, connect with people of all religions, race, political and economic persuasions, contribute to helping humanity, and encourage people to step up as leaders, visionaries, and creators. "I don't know about all that but I can tell you it was a lot of fun. If you want to join me next year, you can find instructional videos are on their website plus a more detailed breakdown of the same steps on YouTube. (Use the link or search for INESSENS on YouTube.)
There's a rather awkward video of my participation here.
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Sunday, September 29, 2019
#NationalCoffeeDay
In celebration of National Coffee Day, I am enjoying a second cup of joe and lusting over an espresso maker - the Breville Barista Express. Sexy, no? And, att 50% off, what's not to love?
I already own not one but two identical espresso machines. They are a model made by Saeco so ancient that you might only be able to find one at Goodwill any more. (This one went for $60.) I have two because I used to have two homes and I loved this machine. I bought the first one somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 years ago. I bought the second one five or so years ago because I couldn't possibly live without one in my temporary second home. There were - and are - so many espresso makers out there, it was easiest to buy what I already knew.
Even then, the Saeco (sold as the Starbucks Barista), was hard to find so when I found someone selling one on Craigslist for $75, I called her and offered full price. Now that I'm settled in one location, I still have the second machine on hand just in case the first one breaks down. It is, after all, old. I need to have my bases covered. (It's not as old as my toaster, however, which dates back to 1960. Come to think of it, it does make terrible toast.)
On the other hand, a sexy new machine like the Breville must make better espresso drinks than my 20 year old Starbucks branded relic. Right? Plus, the machine comes highly recommended. The reviews posted on Sur la table's website include:
Or, is it unnecessary? I could be lusting after this:
Just sayin'.
I already own not one but two identical espresso machines. They are a model made by Saeco so ancient that you might only be able to find one at Goodwill any more. (This one went for $60.) I have two because I used to have two homes and I loved this machine. I bought the first one somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 years ago. I bought the second one five or so years ago because I couldn't possibly live without one in my temporary second home. There were - and are - so many espresso makers out there, it was easiest to buy what I already knew.
Even then, the Saeco (sold as the Starbucks Barista), was hard to find so when I found someone selling one on Craigslist for $75, I called her and offered full price. Now that I'm settled in one location, I still have the second machine on hand just in case the first one breaks down. It is, after all, old. I need to have my bases covered. (It's not as old as my toaster, however, which dates back to 1960. Come to think of it, it does make terrible toast.)
On the other hand, a sexy new machine like the Breville must make better espresso drinks than my 20 year old Starbucks branded relic. Right? Plus, the machine comes highly recommended. The reviews posted on Sur la table's website include:
my elegant girlfriend told me to get this one..I'm elegant. So what's to stop me - or, say, Hubby - from rushing out and grabbing this beauty? Besides, its National Coffee Day! Is there no better way to celebrate than with an expensive (albeit half off), totally unnecessary piece of kitchen equipment?
Or, is it unnecessary? I could be lusting after this:
 |
| Victoria Arduino Venus Bar Semiautomatic Espresso Maker Only $19,5000 from Majesty Coffee |
Tuesday, September 24, 2019
Friday, September 6, 2019
Tuesday, August 27, 2019
We drove by a public square recently that was surrounded by a heavy police presence. There were a couple of guys dressed entirely in black with red bandannas over their faces. Anti-Nazi Rally posters were here and there but otherwise, the square was empty. Some of the police officers smoked cigars.
I wondered who was going to show up for the Pro side. I know there are a lot of people who have a lot of viewpoints but Pro Nazi was hard to fathom.
We didn't stick around to see if anyone else showed up which was probably a good thing.
I wondered who was going to show up for the Pro side. I know there are a lot of people who have a lot of viewpoints but Pro Nazi was hard to fathom.
We didn't stick around to see if anyone else showed up which was probably a good thing.
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
Tips for New Homeowners
If you have multiple bathrooms, they will run out of toilet paper on a simultaneous schedule. Every time. Do not let your reserves get down to less than the equivalent number of bathrooms.
Smoke alarms emit a chirping sound when the batteries run low. If this should happen, it will be 2 a.m. and you will be awakened from a dead sleep. You would be wise to change the batteries in all existing alarms at this time. Otherwise, you will be awakened at 3 a.m.
Our research department advises that your batteries must be changed every six months regardless of what the battery package says. The smoke alarm has an internal countdown set at six months. Batteries that are good for ten years in the package are only good for six months in a smoke alarm. (What would happen if you just switch the batteries around?? I'll ask my research dude.)
Your smoke alarm also emits a chirp when the alarm itself expires. This chirping follows the rule of expired battery chirping in that it will happen in the dead of night. One smoke alarm will signal all your other alarms that they are expired resulting in a cacophony of mind shattering shrills. Removing the batteries will be futile. Your smoke alarms will take on alien life and chirp independent of power. Insanity is inevitable as you consider whether the smoke detectors can be flushed down the toilet. If you are lucky, you can lock your spouse out of the bedroom and let him figure it out while you save yourself. The ultimate answer, as soon as the ringing in your ears ceases, is to replace all of your smoke detectors and sell the house before they expire again ten years later.
You will likely never hear a smoke detector activated by smoke. Unless you have a toaster like mine. Then, you will hear it daily. Don't eat toast.
Smoke alarms emit a chirping sound when the batteries run low. If this should happen, it will be 2 a.m. and you will be awakened from a dead sleep. You would be wise to change the batteries in all existing alarms at this time. Otherwise, you will be awakened at 3 a.m.
Our research department advises that your batteries must be changed every six months regardless of what the battery package says. The smoke alarm has an internal countdown set at six months. Batteries that are good for ten years in the package are only good for six months in a smoke alarm. (What would happen if you just switch the batteries around?? I'll ask my research dude.)
Your smoke alarm also emits a chirp when the alarm itself expires. This chirping follows the rule of expired battery chirping in that it will happen in the dead of night. One smoke alarm will signal all your other alarms that they are expired resulting in a cacophony of mind shattering shrills. Removing the batteries will be futile. Your smoke alarms will take on alien life and chirp independent of power. Insanity is inevitable as you consider whether the smoke detectors can be flushed down the toilet. If you are lucky, you can lock your spouse out of the bedroom and let him figure it out while you save yourself. The ultimate answer, as soon as the ringing in your ears ceases, is to replace all of your smoke detectors and sell the house before they expire again ten years later.
You will likely never hear a smoke detector activated by smoke. Unless you have a toaster like mine. Then, you will hear it daily. Don't eat toast.
Friday, August 16, 2019
Good bye, my darling
I woke to find Hubby by my side, playing a game on his iPad, popping bubbles. “Coffee,” I was thinking. “Where is my coffee?” He may have not wanted to wake me, thought I might want to sleep some more. Yet, all he had to do was to pull on his pants and go downstairs to where the coffee was already prepared.
Instead, I got up, went to the bathroom and washed my hands. I came back, crossing the room to get my toothbrush and hair brush. I crossed in front of the bed again, returning to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. Back in the bedroom, I put on clothes. I was thinking, either he’s a fool or he doesn’t want coffee. Why is there still no coffee?
I turned to him as I was leaving, “Would you like coffee?”
Turns out he was a fool.
When my cup was empty, I spent a few minutes in the bathroom thinking he must be on a suicide mission. It is the only explanation that makes sense. This was confirmed when I returned to the bedroom to find my cup has not been refilled. Again, I got dressed while Hubby popped bubbles. Again, I asked him if he would like coffee. Again, he accepted although this time he did not bother to explain where the coffee is located (as if I might not know).
Again, I delivered coffee to his bedside. I kissed him gently on the forehead and whisper, “It was nice knowing you.”
Monday, August 12, 2019
Glamping in Tacoma
... a style of camping with amenities.
We stayed at Hotel Murano which was not camping by any means but on Sunday I visited three - three! - coffeeshops and all of them were closed. Closed, I tell you! One of these was a Starbucks.
What?, you say. Starbucks was closed?
That is roughing it.
Toto, we are not in Seattle any more.
We stayed at Hotel Murano which was not camping by any means but on Sunday I visited three - three! - coffeeshops and all of them were closed. Closed, I tell you! One of these was a Starbucks.
What?, you say. Starbucks was closed?
That is roughing it.
Toto, we are not in Seattle any more.
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Because some are more special
As football season *ahem* kicks off, make note of these special teams stats:
Baltimore Ravens' payroll for special teams is the highest in the league at $11 million. They also have more special teams players - five. The lowest is $1.9 million with the Philadelphia Eagles (three players). The Seahawks (three players) and Bears (five players) are near the bottom at $3.9 million each which make the Bears special teams players some of the least paid in the league.
The most paid to kickers (two) is $5.3 million by the Green Bay Packers while the Dallas Cowboys pay their one kicker $570,000. The most a team will spend on punters is by the Los Angeles Rams at $4.5 million. The least is $570,000 by the Denver Broncos for their one.
Again, the Baltimore Ravens come out on top in terms of payroll for long snappers - a total of $1.8 million for two. The Buccaneers pay $495,000 for their one.
Top paid kicker is Mason Crosby of Green Bay at $4.85 million. The two lowest paid at $495,000 are both with the Bears. Top paid punter is Thomas Morstead at $4.2 million while the least paid gets only $495,000. (There are five of them.) Best paid long snapper is Beau Brinkley at $1.4 million with the Tennessee Titans (although Charley Hughlett's contract with Cleveland is worth more) while the five least paid are each earning $495,000.
Long snappers don't get paid as much as punters and kickers but I could figure out how to live on a million or so a year. And long snappers are somewhat protected. The NFL prohibits contact with the head or neck of a long snapper or else be penalized 15 yards.
Anyway, I'm a fan of special teams. Because they're more special.
Friday, July 26, 2019
Let The Avoiding Begin
I've been on staycation all week and you would think I would get something done. Something productive, like cleaning a closet or planting those seeds that have been sitting on my kitchen counter for months. But, no. I've managed to fill my time with - I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WITH WHAT! Seriously, how can a whole day get away from me?
I can tell you I'm quite relaxed. And enjoying it.
I read in the mornings. Work out. Shower. Suddenly, it's afternoon and I have to scramble to get to some summer activity or outdoor event. I have time to go on errands I would otherwise avoid. I get to bed at a reasonable time but feel no need to set an alarm. Instead, lazing in an extra hour. Leisurely savoring my coffee in my jammies the next morning. Why would I ever go back to work?
Why indeed.
I can tell you I'm quite relaxed. And enjoying it.
I read in the mornings. Work out. Shower. Suddenly, it's afternoon and I have to scramble to get to some summer activity or outdoor event. I have time to go on errands I would otherwise avoid. I get to bed at a reasonable time but feel no need to set an alarm. Instead, lazing in an extra hour. Leisurely savoring my coffee in my jammies the next morning. Why would I ever go back to work?
Why indeed.
Friday, July 19, 2019
Palms Up
 |
| Place Both Hands Palms Up, And Toward Back |
Does this meant it won't dispense towels if your Hands are Palms Down? My sister-in-law used her foot and it worked just fine so I don't understand.
Plus, the magic eye - the gizmo you're trying to trigger with your upward facing palms - isn't in the back. You can't see it in this picture but it's actually front and center so regardless of which way your hands are facing, it won't dispense anything if you're on either side of said gizmo and Toward the Back.
And What's With The Capital Letters? Did They Run Out Of Little Ones?
My suggestion is make sure you know how to operate all the bathroom equipment before using it. Otherwise, you may find yourself with a handful of soap and no way to rinse them. Or, dripping hands with no way to dry them. I would say that the stall doors have changed relatively little over the years and are still easy and simple to operate but I know that's not strictly true.
And toilets? Don't Get Me Started
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Now we can get back to what's really important ...
Eating.
There have been some changes at Lapellah and not all of them have been good. Fortunately, for those of us who stuck it out, Lapellah has returned to their roots (as it were) and refocused on their mission of fresh, farm-to-table menus. Now under the direction of Jeremy Penrod, the kitchen is turning out exactly what people have become accustomed to from Lapellah: fresh, locally sourced, inventive preparations. Their prices are reasonable and the entire staff is professional and friendly.
I can't speak to the entire menu because I generally go for brunch on the weekends or Sunday Supper on Monday-eve. Just one look at the description for Sunday Supper lets you know that Shaun is in the kitchen:
There have been some changes at Lapellah and not all of them have been good. Fortunately, for those of us who stuck it out, Lapellah has returned to their roots (as it were) and refocused on their mission of fresh, farm-to-table menus. Now under the direction of Jeremy Penrod, the kitchen is turning out exactly what people have become accustomed to from Lapellah: fresh, locally sourced, inventive preparations. Their prices are reasonable and the entire staff is professional and friendly.
I can't speak to the entire menu because I generally go for brunch on the weekends or Sunday Supper on Monday-eve. Just one look at the description for Sunday Supper lets you know that Shaun is in the kitchen:
1st course cucumber and tomato salad, nduja vinaigrette, avocado hummus / preserved lemon / fried chickpeas ~ 2nd course spaghetti and meatballs, roasted tomato sauce, crispy coppa, hazelnuts, pecorinoI don't even know what all of those words mean but I do know that if Shaun is behind them, they'll be combined into an extraordinary event for the palate. That was last Sunday's Supper and it was magnificent. I don't know what it'll be this weekend but you can bet I'll be having some. Wine is also half off on Sundays so you can't lose!
We're glad things are back to the way things were and the staff seems to be happy about it, too. It's okay to change things up once in a while, Lapellah, but you have a good thing going there and your regulars appreciate it just the way it is.
If you live in Vancouver (USA), be sure to visit Lapellah. If you're from out of town, please stop by. Lapellah does not have a view. It's not in the new downtown waterfront project. But, the parking is free and the food is seriously good - maybe the best in town. It's not far - only one mile east of downtown Vancouver so you really don't have any reason not to go.
So, just go already.
Monday, July 8, 2019
The Productivity Tools You Never Knew You Always Had
Pen* and paper.
They're inexpensive and easy to obtain. Batteries are not required and disposal is mostly environmentally friendly. There are no storage limitations (other than the availability of shelf space or an empty drawer) and while there are no passwords required they remain free from security risk so long as you're in physical control of the notebook.
My first boss taught me the value of using a notebook and I still keep one on my desk at all times. When I remodeled our first house, I kept track of things in a spiral notebook - everything from contractor bids to receipts which was extraordinarily useful after the hot water heater burst, requiring us to do the work all over again.
When I was a stay-at-home parent, I carried a notebook with everything in it from the kids' soccer schedules to health insurance numbers for the entire family. When they got bus cards, I kept track of their login information to reload bus fare. It was an invaluable, mobile, and easy-to-use tool that helped me keep track of a very busy family.
Sometime during the 90's, I went electronic and started carrying what was called a PDA (personal digital assistant). Mine was the Cassiopeia made by Casio. It came with a writing stylus and could do some pretty cool things. Beyond keeping appointments, it could translate my notes from script to text which was a neat trick. The kids could draw pictures which served to amuse. I used the spreadsheet function to keep track of golf scores and handicaps for the entire family which kept us all competitive.
Then, came smartphones. Now, you can pretty much keep track of everything on your phone. You would think pen and paper would be obsolete but I say no!
Have you ever picked up your phone and then forgotten why you picked it up? Most likely, you got distracted with a notification or message. Pen and paper have no such distractions. Plus, pen and paper don't seem as invasive in social situations. For example, let's say someone mentions something you want to remember for later and you take out your phone. Rude! However, if you take out pen and paper, you appear interested, smart, perhaps taller and even better looking. Plus, it takes less time in, my opinion, to jot down a reminder to circle back to later.
I admit that I don't carry a notebook anymore but I'm a huge fan and keep one at my desk. When I need to make a quick list of tasks that I want to tackle, I can jot them down. It relieves by brain space from having to keep it all in my head which reduces stress for me. Sometimes, I'll attack the list by doing the most important thing first. Other times, I'll do whatever seems easiest just so I can cross it off my list. Still other times, I just set the list aside. If it sits there long enough, I find most of the stuff wasn't all that important in the first place.
A notebook is also a great place to make notes of important conversations and recalling information is easy. Even minor details can be recorded facilitating a timeline, if needed. (I remember I called my credit card company about that issue on the 21st and spoke with ....) Or a follow up. (I'm calling about the the refund that you said should arrive in two weeks.) Or where you left off. (I left off with "Smith" in the client review last week when I got interrupted with another project.)
Need to be more productive? Write it down. On paper.
Okay, put a reminder in your smartphone first.
* Pencil, if you prefer.
They're inexpensive and easy to obtain. Batteries are not required and disposal is mostly environmentally friendly. There are no storage limitations (other than the availability of shelf space or an empty drawer) and while there are no passwords required they remain free from security risk so long as you're in physical control of the notebook.
My first boss taught me the value of using a notebook and I still keep one on my desk at all times. When I remodeled our first house, I kept track of things in a spiral notebook - everything from contractor bids to receipts which was extraordinarily useful after the hot water heater burst, requiring us to do the work all over again.
When I was a stay-at-home parent, I carried a notebook with everything in it from the kids' soccer schedules to health insurance numbers for the entire family. When they got bus cards, I kept track of their login information to reload bus fare. It was an invaluable, mobile, and easy-to-use tool that helped me keep track of a very busy family.
Sometime during the 90's, I went electronic and started carrying what was called a PDA (personal digital assistant). Mine was the Cassiopeia made by Casio. It came with a writing stylus and could do some pretty cool things. Beyond keeping appointments, it could translate my notes from script to text which was a neat trick. The kids could draw pictures which served to amuse. I used the spreadsheet function to keep track of golf scores and handicaps for the entire family which kept us all competitive.
Then, came smartphones. Now, you can pretty much keep track of everything on your phone. You would think pen and paper would be obsolete but I say no!
Have you ever picked up your phone and then forgotten why you picked it up? Most likely, you got distracted with a notification or message. Pen and paper have no such distractions. Plus, pen and paper don't seem as invasive in social situations. For example, let's say someone mentions something you want to remember for later and you take out your phone. Rude! However, if you take out pen and paper, you appear interested, smart, perhaps taller and even better looking. Plus, it takes less time in, my opinion, to jot down a reminder to circle back to later.
I admit that I don't carry a notebook anymore but I'm a huge fan and keep one at my desk. When I need to make a quick list of tasks that I want to tackle, I can jot them down. It relieves by brain space from having to keep it all in my head which reduces stress for me. Sometimes, I'll attack the list by doing the most important thing first. Other times, I'll do whatever seems easiest just so I can cross it off my list. Still other times, I just set the list aside. If it sits there long enough, I find most of the stuff wasn't all that important in the first place.
A notebook is also a great place to make notes of important conversations and recalling information is easy. Even minor details can be recorded facilitating a timeline, if needed. (I remember I called my credit card company about that issue on the 21st and spoke with ....) Or a follow up. (I'm calling about the the refund that you said should arrive in two weeks.) Or where you left off. (I left off with "Smith" in the client review last week when I got interrupted with another project.)
Need to be more productive? Write it down. On paper.
Okay, put a reminder in your smartphone first.
* Pencil, if you prefer.
Thursday, July 4, 2019
Did I mention?
I meant to let you know there would be no leap second at the end of June but I forgot. You probably didn't miss it.
While I'm at it, there won't be a leap second on December 31st either so you'll not get an extra kiss on New Year's Eve.
In the meantime the difference between Coordinated Universal Time UTC and the International Atomic Time TAI is:
While I'm at it, there won't be a leap second on December 31st either so you'll not get an extra kiss on New Year's Eve.
In the meantime the difference between Coordinated Universal Time UTC and the International Atomic Time TAI is:
from 2017 January 1, 0h UTC, until further notice : UTC-TAI = -37 sYou can get more information from the Earth Orientation Center.
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
File these under Totally Unnecessary
Dunkin Donuts Lip Balm - As tempted as you might be, please do not get this for my birthday. Or, for any other reason.
Slurpee Home Delivery - 7-Eleven will now deliver your Slurpee directly to your couch. With their 7Now: Food & Alcohol Delivery app (on Apple or Android), 7-Eleven can also deliver your Slurpee, as well as a six-pack of Bud Light and a Snickers bar, directly to a park bench near you. While I have no need for a Slurpee - ever - there were times when I wanted a pizza delivered to my boat. While that's not available yet, Domino's is close. Their service, like 7-Eleven's, involves delivery to "hot spots" which, in my neighborhood, includes the local high school.
Coffee that tastes like S'Mores - a "limited edition" coffee with "marshmallow & and graham notes." I've always stood up for you, Starbucks - mostly because I'm hopelessly addicted to your overly-roasted goodness - but this I cannot defend. Can we make this coffee a little more limited? Like, extinct?
What's necessary is unadulterated, black coffee. What's necessary is a collection of at least 25 moisturizers, each with a specific purpose (e.g., one for the delicate tissue around your eyes, one for sagging kneecaps, etc.). What's totally necessary is multiple pairs of black shoes.
The rest I can do without.
Slurpee Home Delivery - 7-Eleven will now deliver your Slurpee directly to your couch. With their 7Now: Food & Alcohol Delivery app (on Apple or Android), 7-Eleven can also deliver your Slurpee, as well as a six-pack of Bud Light and a Snickers bar, directly to a park bench near you. While I have no need for a Slurpee - ever - there were times when I wanted a pizza delivered to my boat. While that's not available yet, Domino's is close. Their service, like 7-Eleven's, involves delivery to "hot spots" which, in my neighborhood, includes the local high school.
Coffee that tastes like S'Mores - a "limited edition" coffee with "marshmallow & and graham notes." I've always stood up for you, Starbucks - mostly because I'm hopelessly addicted to your overly-roasted goodness - but this I cannot defend. Can we make this coffee a little more limited? Like, extinct?
What's necessary is unadulterated, black coffee. What's necessary is a collection of at least 25 moisturizers, each with a specific purpose (e.g., one for the delicate tissue around your eyes, one for sagging kneecaps, etc.). What's totally necessary is multiple pairs of black shoes.
The rest I can do without.
Wednesday, June 5, 2019
"Further study is needed to investigate possible protective mechanisms."
Does frequent ejaculation help ward off prostate cancer? | Harvard Health Publishing
" Regardless of the reason why, take comfort in the fact that ejaculation is not only pleasurable, but also may convey health benefits. "
Wednesday, May 29, 2019
Monday, May 27, 2019
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Could I just have an empty glass?
Out with friends last night where, for dinner, one's three-year-old ordered a grilled cheese sandwich, hold the cheese. The chef came out of the kitchen, "What? He just wants toast?" The boy was emphatic, "Grilled cheese, no cheese!" Gotta love it.
Reminds me of a time when one of our kids ordered a mocktail - a virgin martini - which, as far as I can tell, is an empty glass. (Or maybe, just the olive.)
Reminds me of a time when one of our kids ordered a mocktail - a virgin martini - which, as far as I can tell, is an empty glass. (Or maybe, just the olive.)
Sunday, May 19, 2019
The Bathroom Rant
I know, I know. You've heard it before - the bathroom rant - but a poorly designed restroom I do not understand. A sink like this is very pretty but I fail to see how it is practical. It does a good job of wetting the side of the bowl (again, very pretty) but doesn't wet my hands past my fingertips. Maybe I'm missing something. Are we only supposed to wash our fingertips? If so, what is the rest of the bowl for?
Drying one's hands, says Dyson. They built the hand dryer right into a faucet - the Airblade Tap Hand Dryer (which you can purchase from Restroom Direct). It looks a little bit like a motorcycle handlebar mounted over a sink. OK, it doesn't look anything like a motorcycle handlebar but I can't think of any other way to describe it.
One of the things that drives me crazy about restroom design is that someone, somewhere, decided to change things up. I understand wanting to make things more efficient or more sanitary. What I don't understand is going into a restroom and not being able to perform the functions the room was designed for, namely flushing my bodily wastes and washing and drying my hands.
I'm sorry. Was that too much information? I should have warned your earlier.
My bad.
I haven't met a toilet that I couldn't figure out how to flush, eventually, but I have been stymied by sinks and dryers. You know the drill: waving, dancing, surreptitiously looking for the magic eye or handle to make a thing work, hoping no one else is looking, only to find out it was manual in the first place. You hope the soap will dispense, the water will flow, and, dripping, you will be able to blow or wipe your hands dry on something other than your clothing, all the while timing when you can reasonably give up and leave the restroom while still looking somewhat cool.
This one particular time, I came out of a bathroom stall and was confronted by a handlebar apparatus in the sink that made me think of a motorcycle handlebar - the Dyson Airblade Tap Hand Dryer. Luckily, another woman was working the device so I was able to proceed as if I was an expert. I washed my hands under the stem of the handlebar and later moved my hands out to the handles to dry them.
Brava! No dripping on the floor from sink to towel!
I walked out of the ladies room like I know what I was doing, cool as a cucumber, and just after I rejoined my husband at our table, he leaned over and whispered into my ear, "You forgot to zip your fly."
Sunday, May 12, 2019
The Party's Over
Apparently, a shortage of helium is making things tough for party planners. It's making things tough for the medical industry as well. According to USA Today,
But with smart balloon practices as recommended by The Balloon Council, we can get through this together. Wait, there's a Balloon Council?
Yes! They are here to protect the "consumer’s rights to obtain full enjoyment from balloons," Also, "affirming America's ongoing love affair with balloons" so there's that.
Can you imagine the board meetings? All those squeaky voices....
" As helium prices surge to new highs, some researchers and companies in the medical industry, which uses the gas as a coolant in magnetic resonance imaging and nuclear magnetic resonance, are suggesting a ban on party balloons. "No party for you!
But with smart balloon practices as recommended by The Balloon Council, we can get through this together. Wait, there's a Balloon Council?
Yes! They are here to protect the "consumer’s rights to obtain full enjoyment from balloons," Also, "affirming America's ongoing love affair with balloons" so there's that.
Can you imagine the board meetings? All those squeaky voices....
Friday, May 10, 2019
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
Monday, May 6, 2019
Stiffed
Pennsylvania’s worst turnpike toll evader to pay up | philly.com
" Jarrett Stiff, 36, of Trevose, didn’t pay for trips on the Pennsylvania Turnpike 2,264 times between 2012 and 2017, more than anyone else in the state, according to turnpike records. He accumulated $127,967.40 in unpaid tolls and subsequent fines. "
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Topper offer?
The only good thing about those coffee makers in hotel rooms that make single servings of coffee from a one-use-only plastic filter into a paper cup is that it's only a single serving. There's absolutely no reason to have more than one cup of that flavorless joe. (Come to think if it, there's no reason to have even one but what are you going to do?)
However, when temporary accommodations provide coffee makers that make more than one cup, we will make a full pot regardless of how many people may be willing to drink it. Yet, it's no more flavorful than the single servings. Simply because it's there, we will continue to top off our cups until the whole pot is gone.
At home, I make one cup of coffee at a time, Americano-style, with an espresso maker. Maybe it's just me, but I think it's pretty good and while I hate to see an empty cup, one is enough (until I indulge in my mid-morning latte).
Except, I've just returned home after traveling for eleven days. Eleven days of topping off my coffee cup until there's no more coffee to drink. Now I'm home drinking something rich and flavorful.
... and then it's gone.
... and then it's gone.
I can have one more, right?
Monday, April 15, 2019
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Saturday, April 13, 2019
Friday, April 12, 2019
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Monday, April 8, 2019
Saturday, April 6, 2019
Friday, March 15, 2019
Get to Know VanWA
If you live here, you should get to know your Port of Vancouver. We live in an amazing place, alongside the Columbia River.
You can learn more about the Port of Vancouver by taking a free tour. I've taken it and it's fascinating. Julie Rawls led the tour and she was informative, knowledgeable, and entertaining. I not only recommend the tour highly, I would say it's worth doing a second time. The tour is an hour and a half long and very much worth your time.
Tours dates start in April and run through August. Reservations are required. For more information, see the Port Tours page on the Port of Vancouver USA website. Dates and times can also be found on the WUV calendar.
I don't think you'll regret your investment in getting to know VanWA.
Columbia River seaports, especially the Ports of Vancouver, Kalama, and Longview, play major roles in the movement of exported agricultural products, including being the largest grain export gateway for wheat and second largest soybean export gateway. In 2011, these three ports had 861 vessel calls and shipped 20.2 million metric tons of commodities between them. (Washington State Legislature Transportation Resource Manual)Eight million metric tons of that cargo moves in and out of the Port of Vancouver alone.
You can learn more about the Port of Vancouver by taking a free tour. I've taken it and it's fascinating. Julie Rawls led the tour and she was informative, knowledgeable, and entertaining. I not only recommend the tour highly, I would say it's worth doing a second time. The tour is an hour and a half long and very much worth your time.
Tours dates start in April and run through August. Reservations are required. For more information, see the Port Tours page on the Port of Vancouver USA website. Dates and times can also be found on the WUV calendar.
I don't think you'll regret your investment in getting to know VanWA.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Avoiding Work
Hubby makes fun of me when I try to make the bed while I'm still in it but it makes perfect sense to me. We have a king-sized bed and I can't reach to make both sides at the same time. I can pull up the covers on one side but then I have to walk around to the other side to pull up the covers over there. Then, of course, I have to walk back to the first side to straighten the covers, making it neat, with a final walkaround for last adjustments and smoothing.
From the middle of the bed, I can make both sides at once. Plus, pulling up the covers in the middle of the bed is far more difficult from outside the bed, at its edges. Once made, the only ripple is me and I can just slip out one side. Hubby accuses me of making the bed from inside as an excuse for staying in there longer and he's not entirely wrong. I maintain, however, that is simply efficient bed making.
Of course, if a cup of coffee appeared while I was doing this ... well, that's an entirely different story.
I wonder if it's possible to strip the bed from within the bed....
From the middle of the bed, I can make both sides at once. Plus, pulling up the covers in the middle of the bed is far more difficult from outside the bed, at its edges. Once made, the only ripple is me and I can just slip out one side. Hubby accuses me of making the bed from inside as an excuse for staying in there longer and he's not entirely wrong. I maintain, however, that is simply efficient bed making.
Of course, if a cup of coffee appeared while I was doing this ... well, that's an entirely different story.
I wonder if it's possible to strip the bed from within the bed....
Monday, March 4, 2019
Ronald McDonald
In clothing, I have never paired red with yellow. I like both these colors but could never bring myself to wear them together. Independent of one another, they are joyful colors. I favor red for non-clothing objects (especially coffee mugs) with yellow being more dominant in my wardrobe. It's impossible for me to pair them together, however, without escaping the image of Ronald McDonald.
Someone gave me a bag of socks recently - joyful, colorful socks. Some were striped and some had polka dots. This is what kind of friend she is: She went to the trouble of removing all the little metal staple-like clips that pair socks to one another, she mismatched the socks, and then she clipped them all together again in pairs. Oh, the joy! (I have an affinity for mismatched socks.)
I've been wearing a new pair of joyful, mismatched socks each day, pulling the next pair out of the bag at random. Until yesterday.
Yesterday's were polka dotted socks, one on a yellow background and one on a red background. I set them aside and pulled out the next pair. I just couldn't get over my Ronald McDonald fashion phobia.
Today, for unknown reasons, I had a different outlook. Ronald McDonald wears strips not polka dots, does he not? I put on the socks and felt instant happiness. I was already wearing a red t-shirt so why not go with it? I donned a yellow fleece as well.
It could very well be that I have made some sort of psychological breakthrough here. It could be that I will embrace red and yellow as a badge of courage, smashing old preconceptions, giving way to new ways of dressing and color combinations, and clearing the path to becoming Chief Happiness Officer. I feel empowered to face the future, whatever it brings.
Unless, of course, I run across the Hamburglar. Then, never mind.
Someone gave me a bag of socks recently - joyful, colorful socks. Some were striped and some had polka dots. This is what kind of friend she is: She went to the trouble of removing all the little metal staple-like clips that pair socks to one another, she mismatched the socks, and then she clipped them all together again in pairs. Oh, the joy! (I have an affinity for mismatched socks.)
I've been wearing a new pair of joyful, mismatched socks each day, pulling the next pair out of the bag at random. Until yesterday.
 |
| Clearly, avoiding work. |
Today, for unknown reasons, I had a different outlook. Ronald McDonald wears strips not polka dots, does he not? I put on the socks and felt instant happiness. I was already wearing a red t-shirt so why not go with it? I donned a yellow fleece as well.
It could very well be that I have made some sort of psychological breakthrough here. It could be that I will embrace red and yellow as a badge of courage, smashing old preconceptions, giving way to new ways of dressing and color combinations, and clearing the path to becoming Chief Happiness Officer. I feel empowered to face the future, whatever it brings.
Unless, of course, I run across the Hamburglar. Then, never mind.
Saturday, March 2, 2019
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Change Is Hard
Lapellah has been my go-to restaurant ever since I moved to Vancouver. It has the advantage of being within walking distance of where I live although there are much closer restaurants. Their menu features fresh and local ingredients. The food has always been consistent, creative, and fairly priced. If I could have my every meal there, I would. To that end, I make it there once or twice a week and often bring friends.
Recently, however, Lapellah lost its head chef and the new one has made some changes. I can understand that. The new guy wants to change things up, make his own individual mark on what it is that makes Lapellah, Lapellah. And, of course, not everyone is going to like it. Mercifully, Sunday Supper remains the same.
Sunday Supper is a two-course prix fixe menu created weekly by Lapellah's sous chef, Shaun. He is assisted in the kitchen by Hannah, Erik, Chris, and Brent. (I hope I got all your names right and didn't leave anyone out!) It's always inventive and always delicious. Don't let the changes to their regular menu keep you from coming to supper on Sunday but don't be late. It sells out early. It's a value at $20 per person or $30 per couple. Plus, on Sunday, bottles of wine are half off (for bottles selling for $70 or less, I believe). The best place to sit is at the kitchen counter or in the bar, imo.
No doubt, Lapellah will lose customers over changes to the regular menu. But, maybe they'll gain a new following.
Well, good luck with that. I love Lapellah, just not crazy about the changes.
Nevertheless, I'll be there Sunday.
Recently, however, Lapellah lost its head chef and the new one has made some changes. I can understand that. The new guy wants to change things up, make his own individual mark on what it is that makes Lapellah, Lapellah. And, of course, not everyone is going to like it. Mercifully, Sunday Supper remains the same.
Sunday Supper is a two-course prix fixe menu created weekly by Lapellah's sous chef, Shaun. He is assisted in the kitchen by Hannah, Erik, Chris, and Brent. (I hope I got all your names right and didn't leave anyone out!) It's always inventive and always delicious. Don't let the changes to their regular menu keep you from coming to supper on Sunday but don't be late. It sells out early. It's a value at $20 per person or $30 per couple. Plus, on Sunday, bottles of wine are half off (for bottles selling for $70 or less, I believe). The best place to sit is at the kitchen counter or in the bar, imo.
No doubt, Lapellah will lose customers over changes to the regular menu. But, maybe they'll gain a new following.
Well, good luck with that. I love Lapellah, just not crazy about the changes.
Nevertheless, I'll be there Sunday.
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Roses are Red .... How does that go again?
My favorite place to get greeting cards is Emily McDowell Studio. I dare you to look and not find something you love there. When I visit her site, I invariably think of the people in my life and buy cards that are perfect for them, or perfect for a situation.
The last time I placed, an order, I made sure to get a really great birthday card for Hubby who was going to turn 60 this year. We were traveling the week of his birthday, so I made sure to pack the card and bring it with me. By the time his birthday rolled around, though, I had completely forgotten about it and ended up giving it to him the next day, unsigned.
I told him that if I had remembered to give it to him, I would have written in it that I love him and wished him a happy birthday. That's okay, he said, I can give it to him again next year.
Valentine's Day was the following week and I completely forgot, again, to give him a card I had purchased and put away for the occasion. I guess I now have two cards I can give him next year.
This certainly isn't the first (or second) time I've forgotten to give someone a special card I picked out just for them. I bought a birthday card with a bunch of pink flamingos - an inside joke - for a friend's birthday, put it in my closet with my collection of other cards, and then forgot to send it. For years, I would come across it when sifting through the cards looking for one that would make a good thank you note or note of congratulations and I'd think, Oh, yeah. I forgot about that card. I should send that to her next year. But, I never did.
Eventually, we sold the house and I was going through all the stuff that accumulates in a house over ten years and was giving away or selling anything and everything just so I wouldn't have to move it. I found the flamingo card and thought, I'll be damned if I'm going to pack this card! So, I sent it to her and wished her a happy birthday, whenever that was.
If you know me, you've either received an Emily McDowell card from me or you will. You might check this out, too. I haven't read it yet but I'm thinking I will. (I'm definitely a fan.)
Happy birthday! Happy Valentine's Day, too, while I'm at it. (You know, just in case I forget to send your card.)
The last time I placed, an order, I made sure to get a really great birthday card for Hubby who was going to turn 60 this year. We were traveling the week of his birthday, so I made sure to pack the card and bring it with me. By the time his birthday rolled around, though, I had completely forgotten about it and ended up giving it to him the next day, unsigned.
I told him that if I had remembered to give it to him, I would have written in it that I love him and wished him a happy birthday. That's okay, he said, I can give it to him again next year.
Valentine's Day was the following week and I completely forgot, again, to give him a card I had purchased and put away for the occasion. I guess I now have two cards I can give him next year.
This certainly isn't the first (or second) time I've forgotten to give someone a special card I picked out just for them. I bought a birthday card with a bunch of pink flamingos - an inside joke - for a friend's birthday, put it in my closet with my collection of other cards, and then forgot to send it. For years, I would come across it when sifting through the cards looking for one that would make a good thank you note or note of congratulations and I'd think, Oh, yeah. I forgot about that card. I should send that to her next year. But, I never did.
Eventually, we sold the house and I was going through all the stuff that accumulates in a house over ten years and was giving away or selling anything and everything just so I wouldn't have to move it. I found the flamingo card and thought, I'll be damned if I'm going to pack this card! So, I sent it to her and wished her a happy birthday, whenever that was.
If you know me, you've either received an Emily McDowell card from me or you will. You might check this out, too. I haven't read it yet but I'm thinking I will. (I'm definitely a fan.)
Happy birthday! Happy Valentine's Day, too, while I'm at it. (You know, just in case I forget to send your card.)
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Orientation, part 2
Boaters know this feeling: it's a slight feeling of disorientation on land after spending a lot of time on a boat. Especially in the shower, for some reason, it feels as if the room is rocking back and forth ever so slightly.
I sort of remember a similar sensation after ice skating, oh so many years ago. Walking in street shoes after gliding on ice was like a mermaid becoming mortal. My feet felt weird, sluggish, sticking heavily to the ground.
I've been traveling a lot lately and getting disoriented in hotels has become a common occurrence. Last night, I woke up and I wasn't sure of where I was at first and I was in my own bed!
Don't worry. It'll wear off.
I sort of remember a similar sensation after ice skating, oh so many years ago. Walking in street shoes after gliding on ice was like a mermaid becoming mortal. My feet felt weird, sluggish, sticking heavily to the ground.
I've been traveling a lot lately and getting disoriented in hotels has become a common occurrence. Last night, I woke up and I wasn't sure of where I was at first and I was in my own bed!
Don't worry. It'll wear off.
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Alert!
The last hotel I stayed in, I could not see the TV from the bathroom which is a clear violation of hotel layout regulations. A couple of steps away from the sink, I could. Not that I necessarily need to see the TV from any given bathroom in any given location, rules are rules and hotel architecture cannot be exempt. It would be a slippery slope indeed if suddenly hotels considered bathrooms as a relatively private space rather than an extension of the room itself. What would be next? Soft toilet tissue? Quiet closing doors? Thick, plush carpets and tasteful art? Breakfast after 9am? Espresso machines?????
Hotels are meant to provide a consistent experience so frequent travelers know what to expect: subtle discomfort sufficient enough to ensure check out. Any departure from the hotel layout regulations could lead to happy travelers contemplating long term stays which could disrupt the entire multi-billion dollar travel industry.
Also of note, unaided moms traveling with children appear universally tired. All should be awarded a perfectly chilled martini at day's end (if not immediately).
Lastly, there was a small sign above the sink in the bathroom at the Phoenix airport that read, "Automatic turn on. Do not push." That kinda cracked me up but I'll leave it to you to imagine why.
Hotels are meant to provide a consistent experience so frequent travelers know what to expect: subtle discomfort sufficient enough to ensure check out. Any departure from the hotel layout regulations could lead to happy travelers contemplating long term stays which could disrupt the entire multi-billion dollar travel industry.
Also of note, unaided moms traveling with children appear universally tired. All should be awarded a perfectly chilled martini at day's end (if not immediately).
Lastly, there was a small sign above the sink in the bathroom at the Phoenix airport that read, "Automatic turn on. Do not push." That kinda cracked me up but I'll leave it to you to imagine why.
Thursday, February 7, 2019
Orientation
I was staying in a hotel recently where I went through my usual routine of mapping my route from bed to bath so I could navigate my way in the dark without stubbing a toe. While I was successful in that endeavor, I never quite got the hang of navigating my way to the room itself.
The carpet in the hallways had a busy pattern of the sort you might find in a Las Vegas casino, although in slightly muted colors, with the exception of a small area in front of the elevator. Without this differentiation in the pattern, I was lost every time I left the room. Once I found the elevator, I was fine. All I had to remember to find my way back was to turn right out of the elevator (or was it left?) and my room number (which was 2-something.)
I'll be home soon and my orientation will get reset. My focus will be tax returns for a while and I'm not going anywhere. Mark my words, though: I'll be on the road again April 16th and trying to figure out where the hell I am.
The carpet in the hallways had a busy pattern of the sort you might find in a Las Vegas casino, although in slightly muted colors, with the exception of a small area in front of the elevator. Without this differentiation in the pattern, I was lost every time I left the room. Once I found the elevator, I was fine. All I had to remember to find my way back was to turn right out of the elevator (or was it left?) and my room number (which was 2-something.)
I'll be home soon and my orientation will get reset. My focus will be tax returns for a while and I'm not going anywhere. Mark my words, though: I'll be on the road again April 16th and trying to figure out where the hell I am.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
Dedicated to Galina
She's still nagging me to write a book. I thought she forgot about it but, nope. She asked me just the other day, How's the book coming?"
She's not my muse. She's more of a cheerleader, someone that refuses to stop pushing me. Not that it will change anything but if I ever write one, I told her, I'd dedicate it to her.
This will have to be good enough, Galina. For now.
Or, this:
Don't stop pushing, Galina. Maybe, someday, it'll actually happen. And if it does, your name will be on the dedication page.
Oh, by the way, if you're looking for a hair stylist, you should look her up (whether you're writing a book or not). She's at Parkwest Studio, #VanWA.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)