Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Take the 7-day poop challenge!

I can't remember where I heard about this but I jotted it down in a notebook I carry for such things -  funny things I hear, see, or read about. The problem is that when I finally get around to reading my notes, I forgot where I heard or saw whatever I've listed or what my notes even mean.

One item, I set up as a reminder. Once a month, I would get a notification on my phone that read, "Stop doing that shit." I didn't know what my phone was trying to tell me or what shit it caught me doing so I would reset the reminder for a month later. Four weeks would pass and again I would be reminded to "stop doing that shit." I started getting paranoid.

Finally, I typed "stop doing that shit" into a search engine and discovered it was a title to a book: Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back. Apparently, someone recommended the title to me. All I typed into my phone was "stop doing that shit" and then forgot all about it. (It was a good book, by the way.)

Speaking of shit, I have no idea where the 7-day poop challenge came from but decided to type that into my search engine. 

Remind me to to stop doing that shit.

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

May Fred be with you.

The Danish word for Peace is Fred. It's pronounced frell but as if you had a mouth full of mashed potatoes. 

I like Fred. (I also like mashed potatoes.) I think we could all do with a little more Fred. (Come to think of it, more mashed potatoes would be okay with me, too.) 

I hope you experience Fred in 2021. We invite Fred into our lives, our minds, and our hearts. And may there be Fred between you and I.

Doesn't that make you want to picture us holding hands with Fred? Let's celebrate Fred! Yay, Fred!

(Yay, mashed potatoes!)

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

A common question: Who should get the COVID vaccine first?

Of course that's already been decided but among those considered for first in line was Santa.

An early prediction on NPR's "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" was offered by Adam Burke:

"I really hope it's going to be Santa Claus. Given the way he shoves himself down our chimneys, drinks from our milk glasses and ho-ho-hos all over our living rooms, he's superspreading more than just joy if we're not careful."

Valid and more than a little troubling. An invitation, if nothing else, for us to rethink the whole Christmas package distribution and reward scheme.

But before you sanitize the hearth, erect plastic shields around your Christmas tree, and don protective gear instead of festive pajamas consider this: At a press conference on Monday, the World Health Organization has confirmed that Santa, while quite old, is immune to the novel coronavirus according to NBC News. Additionally, world leaders around the world have lifted travel restrictions especially for him on Christmas Eve.

What scientists don't know, however, is whether Santa can transmit the disease. Therefore, the WHO also directed a warning for children:

"Physical distancing by Santa and of the children themselves must be strictly enforced, so it is really important that the children of the world still listen to their moms and dads and guardians and make sure they go to bed early on Christmas Eve," she said. 
Parents who remain awake amidst the paper and ribbon and the last of the 'nog can track Santa's progress around the globe here: North American Aerospace Defense Command Official Santa Tracker.