By the Numbers

 We recently got back from a two-week roadtrip to the Pacific Northwest, a place where we lived most of our lives and where we first fell in love with beer. (Not to mention each other.)

It was a trip fraught with car problems the entire way. Not exactly ideal. Each time we stopped at an auto repair shop, we tried to evaluate if it was time to retire our 10 year old car with 156,000 miles on the odo. It's a diesel and run likes a champ. Except lately, when it doesn't.

The problems started on Day 2 of our trip. We could have turned around - cancel the whole trip - but we didn't. We pressed on. Things didn't seem all that bad. We arrived at our first destination on Day 4.

On Day 6, we took it to a mechanic. The first of three. 

We were shocked when they told us an axle needed to be replaced. We were also surprised by the cost. It was expensive. We contemplated trading in the car somewhere and buying a new one so we could continue our trip. We also thought about flying to our next destination and onward towards home. We did neither of those things. Two days later, Day 8, we were on the road again and to our relief everything seemed fine.

But then, two hours later, we made a pit stop. As we exited the freeway we heard a sound like we had blown a tire but I had no trouble controlling the vehicle. At our stop, we inspected the tires and everything looked fine. Puzzled, we took it to Mechanic #2 who said one of the tires - the one on the newly replaced axle - just needed rebalancing.

Two hours later, we were on the road again.

Just an hour and a half after that, we pulled over again. Something was not right. The car was shuddering. Enter Mechanic #3.

This time, all four tires were rebalanced. Another two-hour delay. When we finally hit the road, we only made it a couple of blocks before we circled back to Mechanic #3. Things were not better.

With a total of four hours delay for the day, we decided to call it quits and spend the night. We weren't going to make our destination that day. Not for the first time, we contemplated ditching the car forever. Instead, we rented a car and left ours with Mechanic #3. 

This was Day 9 which just happened to be July 3, the day before a long holiday weekend. The mechanics would not be working on July 4. Luckily, they were able to work on it the next day - Friday, July 5. On July 6 - Saturday, Day 11 of our trip - we returned to see if they figured out what was wrong with our car.

Mechanic #3 said the problem with our car was that the new axle fell out. Not all the way out. Just enough to make everything rattle and shake. It wasn't seated properly; it couldn't be. Mechanic #3 said we needed to take it back to Mechanic #1 because the axle they installed was too short. This is why it "fell out." However, he said it was safe enough to drive the 220 miles back to the first mechanic. 

This was nerve wracking.

We called Mechanic #1 but the shop was still closed for the holiday weekend. They wouldn't be open until Monday.

We re-routed our trip, skipping our next intended destination, and backtracked to the first mechanic. We had two days to kill: Saturday and Sunday. Naturally, we found beer. (You can see all the beers we tried on our trip here.)

On Monday, we were on Mechanic #1's doorstep when they opened. (We tried to call ahead but they were closed.) They were just coming off a long weekend and were not thrilled to see customers first thing that Monday morning. They told us they couldn't work us into the schedule right away. Maybe they could do it that afternoon, they offered. 

We insisted. We had already checked out of our hotel and the car was fully packed with two weeks worth of stuff. They could fix it right away or we were going to camp out in their waiting room until it was done. Ten minutes later, the car was on the rack. Shortly after that, we overheard them conferring. Indeed, the axle had fallen out and needed to be replaced again.

A new one was ordered and someone was dispatched to get it. They had us on the road again a couple of hours later. Day 13. 

Day 15 we were home and the car has been fine ever since, all thoughts of disowning it long forgotten. Through it all, we covered

• 3,600 miles
• $3,200 in car repairs
• 28 different beers 
• 14 nights
• 11 breweries
• 8 hotel rooms
• 6 stops for mechanical issues
• half a dozen friends
• 4 states
• 3 auto repair shops
• 2 relatives
• 1 rental car

And one raging case of hemorrhoids, in the end....

Despite the discomfort, the delays, the hand-wringing and uncertainty, the unexpected costs, and a missed stop . . .  despite vows that we'll never do it again, we had a great time because that's what roadtrips are for: surviving the unpredictable. Besides, it could have been worse.

There could have been two raging cases of hemorrhoids.

Do I Have To?

 You know that voice inside your head reminding you that you should probably should exercise more? Ignore her.

With all our recent travel and the extreme heat at home, I've fallen out of my exercise routine which, under different circumstances, consists almost entirely of walking outdoors. I really like walking outdoors. I'll go for miles and miles and miles.

I don't tolerate heat well so it's somewhat paradoxical that I should live in a place where temperatures are easily over 90 degrees for half the year. Right now, in fact, it's over 90 degrees before the sun even comes up. It's just too hot to walk outdoors. Anywhere.

I could walk on a treadmill but that's boring. Besides, it's hard to keep an indoor routine going when we spend the summer traveling. Oh, I have several more flimsy excuses.

That's where that little voice comes in. She reminds me that it's not too hot to swim. In fact, it's a perfect time to swim. Just make a reservation at the pool and do it. Putting it on the calendar will be motivating.

I signed up for a swim lane at the pool. I have it for an entire hour. 

It worked. For a minute. But then I remembered.

I don't like to swim.

Speakeasy

Yellow

My fridge is full of garbage while my freezer is full of Christmas

 I've been out of town the last four Fridays. Which means my garbage hasn't been picked up in a month. To be fair (to be fair), there wasn't much garbage to pick up because we've been out of town. 

However, in the last five weeks, we were home for about ten days. And in those ten days, we produced food waste - aka compost - which is picked up on garbage day.

Well, I wasn't going to just let that sit and rot on my kitchen counter until the next time we were going to be home on a garbage day. So, I put it in my refrigerator to keep it from smelling up the house and attracting bugs. 

But now, because my fridge is half full of beer (collected during said travels), the garbage takes up most of the remaining space. Indeed, there's a chicken carcass in my freezer. 

But speaking of my freezer, I also have an oversupply of Starbuck's Christmas Blend coffee. 

What? It was on sale! I couldn't help myself! Think of it as my version of Christmas in July.

I only have 159 days left to drink what's left of it (before it goes on sale again).

Meanwhile, the garbage goes out today. Not exactly Christmas but close.

Banned Reading

 Yesterday I posted on Facebook. It was roughly five words long - something like, "What's there to be afraid of?" - and a link to yesterday's blog post here on Chocolate Chip Mint.

My Facebook post was banned and removed by Facebook.

According to their website: 

" We do not allow content that is designed to deceive, mislead, or overwhelm users in order to artificially increase viewership. "

You got me. 

In truth, I was trying to artificially increase viewership because who else is going to read this? 

The gist of yesterday's blog post was that I had washed my car and I hoped it wouldn't rain.

For the record, I never designed to deceive or mislead anyone about the fact that I washed my car. 

Five words and a link to yesterday's post is hardly overwhelming.

If It Happens, It's My Fault

It's been raining. Yay! (We need it.)

We had bursts of rain in small patches. On Sunday, one side of town got 1.5" in 30 minutes, while the other side got next to nothing. 

My car was parked outside on Sunday and I was in an area that got rained on. The shower lasted only a few minutes but prompted flood warnings. Yet, by the time I got to my car, everything had dried up and my car was left with rain spots all over it. Boo!

On Monday, some people saw hail (called snow in Pennsylvania) while I saw nothing. 

Today, I washed my car. Yay!

But, I forgot to bring a towel. By the time I got home, my car was covered in spots again. Boo! 

So I washed it again in my garage by hand. I only had to spray it with a little water and wipe it with a microfiber cloth to remove the water spots from the carwash and accumulated dust from the drive home. Yay! 

But I still have to do an errand and fetch some Grin-itch spinach. Boooo....

I just hope it doesn't rain. Noooo!

A Genre With All The Words

Question:

Name any movie in the genre of "made-for-TV, science fiction, action, comedy, horror, disaster." Hint: There was a series of films made in this style between 2013 and 2018.  Per Wikipedia: "The first two films received mixed to positive reviews from critics, while the others received negative reviews." Rotten Tomatoes gives the first film 75%, the second one 61%, and the remaining movies anywhere from 14% to 36%.

Answer:

Sharknado. 

So bad, it's good. 

We stumbled upon it quite by accident because we would have never seen it otherwise. Indeed, we've been actively avoiding the Sharknado movies. The name alone should tell you that it's not worth seeing.

Then, one day, I heard an interview about "Surely You Can't Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!" by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker. I thought, that (Airplane!) would be a fun movie to see again.

While I was looking for ways to stream the Airplane!, we came across Sharknado and the only reason we picked it was because we could stream it for free. 

It was entirely worth every penny! 

But then we were hooked. The first one was bad but the second one was elevated to cult level bad. It's like everyone got the joke with the first one and wanted in. The cast of the second movie includes Vivica A. Fox, Richard Kind, Billy Ray Cyrus, Kelly Osbourne, Judd Hirsch, Robert Klein, Matt Lauer and Al Roker, Michael Strahan, Downtown Julie Brown, Kelly Ripa, and so many others.

My recommendation for this Friday's pizza and movie night is Sharknado and Sharknado 2: The Second One. Even more people signed on to be in the third movie, aptly named Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! If you've got the stomach for it, just keep going. We only made it to the third one. Luckily, there are three more! 

Woo hoo!