Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Beats Me!

It takes me three hours to get to work, between the time my alarm goes off and when I actually get there. (Longer, if you take into account the first thing I do upon arriving is make my breakfast. (Even longer, if you consider that the second thing I do is log on to 76003.)) I don't have any idea of why this is.* I don't wear makeup, as a general rule, and about half the time I don't even wash my hair. My work uniform is a pair of jeans and a button down shirt.**

If I understood why this is, I could also explain what a woman carries in her purse. Money and credit cards? Sure, but she could put them in a pants pocket. Keys, ditto.*** Kleenex, band-aids, hand sanitizer - okay, now we're in "mom" territory. (Maybe I'm onto something.)

It takes me almost half as long to get ready for bed. With lotions, potions, and eye creams, how could I possibly go to sleep any earlier? (Damn, that reminds me I haven't put on any hand lotion!)

I'd happily explain women to you but I can't and I am one. If you're not, there's no hope for you.

Sorry, I wish I had better news.

*In my own defense, it takes almost thirty minutes to make my perfect, hand-crafted espresso americano and another thirty minutes to enjoy it. What takes up the other two hours, I have no idea.

**The decision-making is in what shoes to wear.

***Why does a man carry, at most, two keys and a women almost always carries 27 conjoined in a massive ball of keychains?

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Don't Let This Happen to You

It's National Coffee Day. You can do better than this.

It's better than Christmas! Yesterday, was our anniversary (26 years - over half my life by a few days), today is National Coffee Day (although, really, every day should be coffee day), and my birthday is on Saturday. Dude, I should be in bed all week drinking coffee and eating cake!

Instead, it's Tax Season, Part II, and I'll be at the office. (Still drinking coffee, of course.)

Last weekend, was our first weekend of being homeless and we spent it on the beach. Not like sleeping bags on the beach, more like waterfront hotel room. (Remind me to give them feedback about their in-room coffee selection.) And "homeless" really just means one less home. I still have another home and a boat.

Hubby is already anxious to spend the proceeds on new digs in Seattle. I'd rather wait a bit for the dust to settle. In the meantime, the commute continues between our Portland and Seattle locations except now we'll be staying primarily on the boat when we're "home" and plan to be there most weekends so most of you won't notice any change.

Meanwhile, my cup runneth dry and something in the back of my head is nagging me to go get some exercise. (I'm trying to ignore it.)

I don't know what you're doing today but make sure you're doing it with a good cup of coffee. If you're drinking Inn Room coffee, good for you. Maybe you're on vacation. (Although, I can guarantee it's not gourmet because there's no such thing as gourmet inn room coffee.) But, if you're drinking decaf, I don't know you.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

This Week in Long Snapper News
" Week Two of the 2015 NFL season is complete and the snapping position remains stable. The extra point rule change has made the normally automatic extra point a bit less automatic, as nine extra points have been missed so far this year. There were a total of eight missed extra points all of last season.
" Four snappers made tackles in punt coverage this week, led by Beau Brinkley of the Titans who had two solo tackles. Jon Weeks (Texans) and Charley Hughlett (Browns) each recorded solo tackles, while JJ Jansen (Panthers) added an assisted tackle. "

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Almost There

What a weekend! We sold or gave away 100% of our furniture. While we made huge progress, there's still a lot to be done. We'll have a garage sale on Saturday to get rid of everything else, and donate what's left over on Sunday. My back is sore but I'm invigorated.

You never know how much you have until you try to get rid of it. That's no exaggeration. The more we sold the more there seemed to be.

Some really interesting people came through our house. One was a student who was entering the University of Washington and was furnishing her dorm room. This, after spending a year studying in London. I spoke with the mother who told me she home schooled her kids because they were all dancers who performed all over the world and, therefore, couldn't attend traditional school.

I met a woman who used to live across the street in the home of the man who was the developer for the houses directly across from us. She now lives a few blocks away across the street from a park where I used to take my grandson. She came over so many times and bought so much furniture that I feel like we're now best friends.

One neighbor bought the karaoke equipment. We're hoping to get an invitation as soon as it's all plugged in. We told her, upon taking her money, that the set comes with a guy named Brian. All they have to do is start singing "Sweet Caroline" to conjure him up. (We don't know how that happens but it always did.)

Everything in the house seemed to have a story and each time someone walked out with an item, I recalled the memories that went with them. I was glad to know someone else would get to enjoy something that had made me happy over the years and was grateful. Even though we worked at a frantic pace over the two days, there was a real sense of peace when it was all over.

I would do it again but I hope I won't have to. Getting rid of all your stuff is liberating. Freeing up your space gives you more room to love the stuff you have. The key is to purge until you feel good in the space that's left over. And then to keep it that way.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Living A Dream

Nightmare is more like it. I'm living in a garage sale. 

I can't put anything down anywhere or Hubby will come along with his price gun and tag it for fifty cents. Nothing is safe.

There's no place to sit. No place to eat. And, I can't find shit! It's a certain kind of meyhem that doesn't just clutter my space, it's cluttering my mind.

The big sale is tomorrow. Selling everything, just about. Lots to do but getting there. The process was a bit weird at first, parting with accumulated treasures. But the further we got into it, the more we've come to realize that we have more junk than treasures and the treasures, most of them, have served their useful purpose which was to give us pleasure in this house.

We will find new treasures and make new memories somewhere else. And the old memories, we'll have forever.

I've been reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing which is not only a great Charades title but it's provided a good deal of guidance on how to go about said tidying and decluttering. I look at everything differently now in terms of what is worth keeping and what can easily be discarded.

I've never even had a garage sale before. Ever. But this process is cathartic because I've had to look at every single thing I own - every paper clip, slip of paper, and unmatched sock. While I can now more easily identify things I don't need or should get rid of, without a sale such as this, it's easy to postpone getting rid of things and set them aside for "later" which never comes. It's almost easier to do it all at once that to get rid of things one at a time - this thing to Goodwill, that thing on Craiglist, the other thing to the garbage. While it's a ton of work to have an estate/moving sale, it's more efficient.

It's a good exercise, cleaning house. And it's a good book. If you know someone who could stand to get rid of stuff, buy that person this book. It's worth it.

Speaking of work, I'd rather avoid it but tomorrow is a big day and if I sit here too long Hubby is likely to put a price tag on me.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

What's A Long Snapper?

Since yesterday, I've heard this question more than once. The fact that this question is asked at all serves to illustrate why it's so important to support your local Long Snapper.

A Long Snapper, friends, is a position in American football. He's the guy who snaps the ball, long.

He's not the Center. The Center snaps the ball, short, into the Quarter Back's hands which are placed in the Center's crotch. Awkward, yes, but a fairly easy target, one's own crotch. It's trickier when the target is 15 yards away and aimed at from an upside down position.

The punt, extra point, and field goal situations require the guy in the middle (but not the Center) to snap the ball over a long distance. Hence, Long Snapper.

From Wikipedia:
" During field goals and point after touchdown, the snap is received by the holder typically 7-8 yards away. During punt plays the snap is delivered to the punter from 13-15 yards away. "
Accuracy is key. A bad snap can make the difference in the outcome of a game. Even so:
" Long snappers are usually amongst the least known players in the NFL, because of their highly specialized and relatively invisible role on the field. "
Which is what makes them ever so special. Even though every team in the NFL now has a specialized Long Snapper, they are generally not drafted as such. Long Snappers are usually acquired as free agents into another position before finding their true calling.
" The first pure long snapper to have been picked in the draft was Tyler Schmitt, a sixth round pick (189th overall) in 2008, selected by the Seattle Seahawks. "
Seahawks are so cutting edge.

For my Chicago friends who are curious about Long Snappers, belongs to Chicago Bear's Long Snapper Patrick Mannelly, only recently retired. Of all people, Bears fans should know what a Long Snapper is!

Another excellent website for up-to-the minute Long Snapper news is which now appears as a link on this page, to your right. Among other things, this site describes the NFL and NCAA rules that apply regarding Long Snappers, namely that a defensive player can't line up against the Long Snapper (NFL) or initiate contact until at least one second has elapsed after the start of play (NCAA).

Now you know what a Long Snapper is and what makes him special. This is the first year I've seen an NFL jersey for the Long Snapper and as soon as I saw it, I snapped one up.


Seriously, though, the first jersey I got for a player on Special Teams was #3 Josh Brown (when he played for the Seattle Seahawks). I had to have it made because there was no such thing as a Kicker's jersey at the time. Soon after, Special Teams fever kicked in (can't help myself) and Josh Brown jerseys were everywhere. (There had to have been at least half a dozen of them.)

I'm not surprised that the current Kicker, Steven Haushka, has a jersey available. People have come to realize how important the Kicker is and admire his contribution. Haushka ties for first place for longest field goal made in 2014 at 58 yards, has a 100% field goal average for attempts between 20 and 39 yards, and made 100% of all extra point attempts. He scored a total of 134 points for the Seahawks last year which ties him for fourth highest scorer in the entire freaking league.

The Long Snapper, Clint Gresham, didn't score a single point last year but that doesn't make him any less deserving of a jersey.

Think about this: In the Peanuts cartoon, you have Lucy as Holder and Charlie Brown as Kicker but there's no Long Snapper! For the Seahawks, Jon Ryan is Holder to Haushka's Charlie Brown but unlike the cartoon, you have to have a Long Snapper to start the play in the NFL. The Long Snapper is the one to make the whole thing possible. Without him, there is no Haushka and you can kiss those 134 points goodbye.

For the Seattle Seahawks, Clint Gresham is that guy - #49, Long Snapper. My hero. And you can get his jersey here.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Is It Here Yet?

Because He's Special

I just purchased a #49 Seahawks jersey for Clint Gresham, the Long Snapper. How special is that? I could have had a #4 Hauschka jersey (Kicker) but everyone knows who Hauschka is. He's a rock star. There was also a Jon Ryan available (Punter). Also, a stud. Was somewhat tempted to get Ryan's #9.

But, in my heart, Gresham is the most special one of them all. (He happens to also like cornhole if I haven't mentioned it before.) So, now, there will be two people in the stadium wearing his jersey (besides himself). Me and his mom. Because, even the Long Snapper needs some love.

(I'll let you know if I manage to score an autograph. That would make my day!)