Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Almost Like Christmas

I went out my front door this morning and parked right outside was the coffee supplier for the corner coffee shop. A large van with

CaffĂ© D’arte

painted on its side was just steps away. I thought about hijacking it. Hearing my thoughts, Hubby gently took my elbow and steered me away.

Neither the van driver nor the coffee shop owner know how close they were to losing their inventory. I might have made it across the border, stealing for myself the joy of others like a modern day Grinch (my alter ego.)

If I can't make you miserable by stealing your coffee, I could still do your taxes.


Saturday, February 24, 2018

Friday, February 16, 2018

Know anyone who fits this description?

It's National Do A Grouch a Favor Day.
A grouch can be called by a number of names, some of which won’t be described here. However, a few that might come in handy are curmudgeon, crank, grump, sourpuss, bellyacher, grouse, crosspatch, malconent, crab, and grumbler. 
[emphasis mine]
It is suggested that today would be a good day to watch Grumpy Old Men. I think that's a fine idea.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

How is it that I don't own flannel?

It was a slightly dark and cold morning. Not raining, not cold, but still I wanted to wear something cozy. Not as heavy as a sweater, I was thinking as I stared into my closet. That's when it hit me. I don't own any flannel!

I have a scarf with the classic tartan pattern but that's the closest I get to flannel. How is this even possible? I live in the Pacific Northwest! (Portlandia, or nearly so, no less.) I drink beer! I'm definitely not in step with local customs. Could this, in fact, be illegal?

Maybe I never saw flannel as fitting into an office wardrobe but I moved my office into my house years ago so I can wear whatever I want. Maybe I didn't see it as very nice "date wear." Hello? PNW!

I did buy some hiking boots recently so that's a step in the right direction. But they're actual hiking boots, not the boots that are intended to be fashionable with skinny jeans while appearing hiking-boot-like. So now I need flannel and boots.

How is there not a Flannel and Boots store on every block, sandwiched in between the coffee shops and microbreweries? How is it that breweries don't sell flannel? At least, they don't bar non-flannel wearing customers.

Surely, people have noticed and I'm embarrassed in the same way that everything is fine until someone points out, after the party, that your fly was down the whole time. Why didn't someone say something sooner?

As soon as the weather is dry enough to bike, I'll pedal to the nearest organic flannel and vegan boot store in Portland. That should set things right.