Monday, April 8, 2013

This Page Is Blank

If those words weren't written, would you be unable to recognize a blank page? I wonder.

This Page is Blank will be the title of my next unpublished book. Or, it will be the ending to all my previously unpublished books. Or, I could publish a book of blank pages. That would be awesome.

Meanwhile, there are seven days left until April 15th and I was finding it hard to breath this morning. We always make it to the 15th with room to spare, but every year I can't believe it's possible to get it all done.

I was feeling grateful that no one had been to the Emergency Room this year. Or, last year, for that matter. But there has to be a statistic somewhere about the number of accountants that go to the hospital between March 15th and April 15th.

And, then, I got to the office and couldn't log in. One week to go and I am literally forced to goof off. I have to laugh, really. I could jump off the roof of our building but it's only two stories and I would merely break my ankle. I would have to land on my calculator hand if I wanted to get out of any more tax returns.

Maybe when this is all over, I'll tell you who our cloud server is so you can avoid ever doing business with them.

My hands are tired and my elbow is sore. My eyes are bloodshot at the end of they day. I have something like 30 tax returns left to do (I'd tell you exactly how many but I can't log in, remember?) and I don't know how many extensions. The shops across the street don't open for another hour but, I swear to god, if I still can't log in by then, I'm going to buy myself a pair of kick ass red patent leather pumps.

I mean seriously. Goofing off is to working as lighting a cigarette is to dinner being ready. One almost guarantees the other. As I write (and write and write), I expect someone to shout out We're back in! I would be doing the office a favor by buying shoes - expensive ones - because the cloud server would be the only thing to stop me. It has to work.

So, if you see me this Friday with some kick ass shoes you'll know what happened. And, if you don't see me at all Friday night, it's because I'm still at work.

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