Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Other Toaster

I feel a little dirty. Like, perhaps, I shouldn't be telling you this. My husband brought home a newer, younger toaster.

He's often talked about bringing a newer model into our home - for years, in fact. I was the one who resisted. I've been faithful to one toaster for so long, the idea of trying something new - especially with the old toaster watching - feels more than awkward. It feels plain wrong.

My toaster and I go back nearly 50 years together. You don't just toss that aside like it didn't matter. Like it wasn't significant. My faithful toaster still resides in its usual space, underneath the counter. I've not displaced it. Meanwhile, the Other Toaster still sits, unopened, untouched in its box on the counter. I can hardly bear to look at it, much less toast with it.

And even though I haven't made a single move towards the new toaster, the old one protests by making toast even less appealing than before. It's never in the mood, it seems, to get hot on both sides of the bread. I have to stop and start and constantly readjust just to get a little toast. Is that too much to ask? I don't ask often. Maybe once a week, if that. But still, it takes coaxing.

My husband has been patient. He's waiting for us to get acquainted before he starts toasting on his own or we start toasting together.

I'm not willing to give up toast. I like toast. I'm even willing to try new things. But a new toaster? I hope my husband knows how much I love him just to even consider it.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Hang It

The only trouble with getting caught up on laundry is I run out of hangers. Ideally, I would have some laundry in the hamper awaiting the wash cycle or some in the dryer waiting to be folded. Or, both. There's some exact formula which maximizes hanger usage and minimizes actual work to be done. Such as wearing whatever just came out of the dryer rather than putting it away. Or putting the same sheets on the bed (after washing, of course) so you don't have to wrestle folding a fitted sheet.

The dishwasher holds a similar property. The best time to unload one is just before dinner. Set the table from whatever's in the dishwasher and you don't have to put it away (which is the whole argument for having two dishwashers - one for dirty, one for clean).

Here's my cleaning tip for the day: don't. You can't tell how dirty your house is until you start cleaning it. And if you can't tell it's dirty, why start?

So there you go.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Something About Turnips

The blood bank parked their mobile unit in our parking lot today. You could pay your taxes and bleed all at the same time.

I'l have to talk to the marketing team about putting our logo on the bus.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Warning

This office is chronically low on chocolate. Until supplies are restored, you can just forget about getting your tax return prepared.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Declaration

LET IT BE KNOWN that folding fitted sheets is NOT a form of witchcraft.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Friday, April 1, 2011

Announcing the PlayWrite Gaming Tablet

Aside from being the thinnest, lightest, and most energy efficient tablet device available today, the PlayWrite has the capability to run an unlimited number of games on its revolutionary operating system.

Learn more here.