Love On The Rocks

For scale, there's another one halfway up the hill.

 

This is where I live. See the house at the top of the ridge ready to topple into the abyss? That's me, waving.

I exaggerate but only slightly. 

As you may - or may not - know, I live in the Seattle area and Hubby works in the Portland area. That's an oversimplification but it's close enough to the truth. Fortunately, my employer allows me to work from home so I often travel with Hubby. We have a house in the Seattle area and stay in rented a mother-in-law apartment during the work week. The apartment is in a house on top of this ridge.

I hope they stop digging soon or else we'll slide right off this cliff. I'm already worried for our host family's pet cemetery in the back yard. But we should be okay because I heard the lease on the quarry is about to expire.

Which makes me wonder, what will happen next?

Considering it's a giant whole in the ground it might make an ideal swimming pool except the cliff only extends halfway around. All the water would run right out. Of course, you could just keep digging. That would keep the water in and you could turn it into a world class cliff diving school. (It might even be the first cliff diving school.)

The location is ideal for development being right off US Hwy 14, near good schools and employers in high-tech industries. And with outstanding views of the Columbia river, high-rise condos seem to be a logical fit except exactly half of all the units would have a rotten view. Of course, you might offer the owners on the backside a discount at rock climbing school.

Better yet, you could connect the backside condos to the cliff itself. One side of the building would have views, the other side would have cave/patios. How cool would that be? What if the condominium project itself was a series of caves? I might buy into that!

Or you could do this but I'm not sure it'll play in this neighborhood:

Trailer Trash Condos - ebcak.com
(H/T Richard S.)

It'll probably end up being some big-box retail store like Home Depot. In that case, I think they should seriously consider selling hardhats. 

I think it's time to get my eyes checked. The last time I cleaned my glasses, I used spray-on hair conditioner (which actually worked better than expected). And, the other day, instead of a sparkly body lotion I applied face cleanser all over my legs. (And didn't notice there weren't any sparkles.)

Sure It Is

13% Faster, My Ass

I think it's time to buy a another new computer.

By the way, how many computers should one have and how often do they need to be replaced? (It depends on who you ask, I suppose.) I have two work locations so that's two computers right there (although, technically, my employer owns one of those). I have a desktop computer at home (although if you count the skeletons that are in the garage, I probably have two more that could be pressed into service in a pinch). I have my old Acer laptop, which I should probably clean up and donate to the YWCA or something. Hubby has an old laptop which he doesn't use anymore but it has a DVD drive and a remote control which are cool - but, still, we aren't using (but could). Then, there's my MacBook Air (which makes me a convert, I think). Does the iPad count? What about the Kindle Fire? And the other two Kindles? Christ, I think my socks are computerized now. Do they count?

(Does the use of parentheses indicate that I'm talking to myself?)

The computer in my satellite office is a drag (and I think I'm being literal here). I usually work at that location for a few days, power everything off, then work in my regular office for a couple a days. When I come back and power the computer back on in my satellite office, my computer regards me as a cat would who's been left alone for more than five minutes. It comes to life, but slowly, and won't do anything without endless coaxing until my patience runs out and I reboot it all over again.

Here's what really pisses me off about that routine. It kills close to a half an hour - the powering up, passwords, various things loading, logging in, waiting for connections, whatever - which is what I've come to expect, sadly. No, the problem is the next day it wants to run updates. Why the fuck it doesn't want to do that when I'm fucking around with it on Day One is absolutely beyond me.

But, wait. The kicker is that about half an hour after the updates on the second day, the reboot, the passwords, logins, etc., some happy piece of software pops up and says, "Did you feel that? Your computer booted up 13% faster."

Awesome! You mean I could have been doing this all freaking week?!

(Okay, tell me how you really feel.)

I've had enough so here's the deal: the lines are now open for technical advice. (Snarky remarks are also clearly welcome.) I work in the "cloud" (can we call it "Fog?") so the new computer doesn't have to do much other than support a second monitor and work with some dependable reliability. I would love to have an Apple but I've noticed there are a few translation issues (with the keyboard) when I log in to my Microsoft-based work environment from my Apple laptop. (Maybe there's a work-around for that.) It doesn't need to be portable because I already have portable (in spades). It also has to be compatible with my Fog interface which means Chromebook is out (because it doesn't have an OS, is what they tell me).

Okay, I'm done now. This little rant is over.

I'm taking tomorrow off.

Welcome to September

I'm so busy that I think the only thing left now to do is throw out the To Do list. The second I have a second to myself, someone wants to fill it. I remember, like it was only yesterday, that I didn't have enough to do. Oh, well, this too shall pass and before long I'll be complaining that I'm bored. (Like the weather, it's always too hot or too cold.)

It's been almost two weeks since the biggest, baddest corn hole tournament within a five block radius of my house. There were fifteen teams playing in the third annual double elimination competition. The event is by invitation only and I was included as the champion of the inaugural event. This year, I had the honor of extending an invitation to another champion: Clint Gresham, Long Snapper of the Seattle Seahawks. (He declined.)

Perhaps he doesn't know what a fan I am of Special Teams. The more special the player, the more of a fan I am. I would wear his number but I can't find a 49 jersey. Anyway, whenever I get a Seahawks jersey the player I'm representing ends up quitting. (Remember Josh Brown? Yeah, I didn't think so.)

I usually post a much longer description of the event but this will have to do for now. (I came in third, btw.) I hope to revisit this topic again later.

The draft for our fantasy football league was the very next day. Since almost all the team managers were also at the previous night's tournament it was a subdued crowd, to say the least. This event was fraught with some anxiety for one team manager (Vancouver Hawkbackers) when he nearly lost all of his scouting data 48 hours before the draft. (Hubby dropped his iPad, cracking the glass.) Fortunately,  this hurdle was easily overcome by a supportive sales associate and $200. (I'll tell you whether it was worth it 17 weeks from now.)

And then this happened. (Look for the woman in a Seahawks t-shirt, black baseball cap, and jeans with a hole in one knee on the right side of the screen.)



Seattle was "mobbed" four times that day in Pioneer Square, Pike Place Market, the Convention Center, and Capital Hill. The middle two mobs were the best because they were packed with tourists who were taken by complete surprise. I also met some really great people (whom I hope to see again). I think there will definitely be more flash mobs in my future. (Stay tuned.)

This vein's for you.

Over the weekend, I was nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge. My video response is on Facebook because it was easier than figuring out how to post it here. (I think it's an Apple/Google mismatch thing and I just don't have the patience to create a vimeo account.) But the gist of it is this: I declined to dump ice water on my head and instead of donating money to the ALS Association, I donated blood to my local blood bank.

Then, yesterday, was the first day of school for this special guy:

He just turned six and I love him so much.

JOHN FROSCHAUER — The Associated Press
The News Tribune

That brings us to today which is the first day of the NFL season. Do you love it? Do you hate it? Do you care? Did you notice the female line judges? Wait, what?

Okay, there weren't any on the field today and there won't be any during the rest of the regular season - but there could be soon. There are two women officials in official official school who officiated during the pre-season. One was right here in Seattle in the game against San Diego.

Also, for bonus points, who scored the first points of the 2014 NFL season? (Hint: Hauschka like them apples? [An HTLA? t-shirt goes to the first one who posts the correct answer.*])

Meanwhile, what I should be doing at this very moment is work on a slide show that I've been trying to produce to document a major remodel of our boating club's kitchen. (Sounds less pretentious than yacht club galley.) I've taken about 360 pictures of the progress over the last few months. It's a larger task than I imagined to sort them into something that's interesting and tells a story. It should be done soon but I've left it to the last minute (in no small part because the project wrapped up just last week) but time is in short supply because it's Tax Season, Part Deux**.  (And, my zit's cleared up so Hubby is in big trouble.)

I'll pay for this, this post. I should have been working on my video presentation but I didn't do it. In the meantime, there's always ice cream.



*All terms and conditions apply. Employees and relatives of the author, with the exception of the author's brother, are excluded. That should pretty much cover it.

**If you don't know what I'm talking about, then tough for you.

2014 X-Ray Contest Winners

2014 X-Ray Contest Winners

"A 3-year-old male great Dane was observed repeatedly vomiting and retching all day. 

"Abdominal radiographs revealed a severely distended stomach and a large quantity of foreign material. 

"During exploratory surgery performed by a DoveLewis veterinarian, 43½ socks were removed. The patient was discharged home one day after surgery."

Now you know where they all went. But beware, your rubber duckies are also in peril.

 

I Did Not Make This Up

Clown Suffers Minor Injuries in Clown Car Crash

"A clown suffered minor injuries on Monday after her clown car crashed into a utility pole in Westwood, New Jersey.

 

"The victim, according to The Record, was a 68-year-old female clown whose name was not released. Another clown, who goes by the moniker ‘Poppi T Clown’ told the paper that the accident victim was reaching for her GPS unit when she ran off the road and into the pole. In other words, she may have been juggling one too many things.

 

"The female clown was said to have been driving home from a show at an elementary school. Several of her fellow clowns (“about 10,” the Record said) arrived on the scene quickly to assist her.

"An administrative assistant for Westwood police chief Frank Regino told Boston.com that the clowns were still in makeup and full costume at the time of the accident. According to police, the clowns were driving home in separate cars and not all in one tiny car."

The Times, They Are a-Changin'

It's that time in my life when my hormones are all out of whack. I know this particularly for two reasons: First, I am growing a ginormous zit on the side of my face; second, I love my husband.

Hubby noticed both of these strange occurrences as well. The zit is fairly obvious and while I love my husband, my displays of affection are rather inconsistent. Actually, that isn't the case either - there's a pattern. I love my husband for two weeks after which I find him endlessly irritating for the rest of each month.

This month's extended period of affection is unusual and while Hubby isn't complaining, he was hesitant to bring up this anomaly lest the spell be broken. I was afraid of this: that my cycle would get caught in endless repeat somewhere along the line. At least it didn't get caught two weeks later.

Unfortunately for Hubby, my zit is starting to clear up.

Bacon

I woke up to the smell of cooked bacon which would be wonderful except I'm not sure it will ever go away. (Is that really such a bad thing?) The thing is, I came across fifteen pounds of bacon yesterday. (I won't even try to explain.) I cooked up three pounds of it and wrapped up the other twelve in one-pound packages for freezing. (And by "we," I mean "Hubby.")

Thus, the smell.

I was planning to make an appetizer that features bacon as an ingredient to bring to the Third Annual Cornhole for Cash tournament later today (report to follow) but now I'm thinking, "Why bother?" Everyone loves bacon. Why mess with it? Now I'm thinking that if I just bring a plate of cooked bacon, that will go over as well or better than anything I could make with it. It'll be a feeding frenzy.

While I'm at it, I plan to put some in my pockets in the hopes that it will throw off my opponents later today. I'll stop at nothing to reclaim my trophy!

The Argument for Form 1023

Application for Recognition of Exemption Under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code

An organization is eligible to use From 1023-EZ if its assets are valued at $250,000 or less, and it has annual gross receipts of $50,000 or less.

Step Away from the Microwave! IRS Rules That Organization Formed to Protect Citizens from 'Mind Control' Attacks Is Not Exempt :

Had the new streamlined procedures for small organizations to apply, using Form 1023-EZ,9 for tax-exempt status under §501(c)(3) been in effect, it is likely that the organization described in PLR 201430014 would have sailed through the exemption process with little or no scrutiny. 

Also,

Indeed, while one might have some sympathy with the intent to compensate the victims of "mind control," the fact that the scientific basis for the purported existence of "M attacks" appears to be about on a par with the scientific evidence supporting the existence of , e.g., Sharknados, seems to have doomed Taxpayer's application.

Has Mind Control Conspiracy Captured IRS? :

I’m thinking that there might be a little bit of bias in the ruling that Defender is not educational and the notion that because Ernie is one of the victims of M attacks working for compensation for M victims constitutes inurement. If Ernie is right, you would think that the IRS is one of the first places the people doing the mind control would take over, so that might account for the adverse ruling. Of course I would also not rule out Funhouse running a scamming operation and Ernie being a whackadoodle.

Funny stuff right there.

3

T1

Eagle Harbor, Bainbridge WA

Moonlight

Is it real or fantasy?

As we gear up for our fantasy football league's draft day, one wonders how much time is wasted on an activity that isn't even real. The answer depends on who you ask.

"According to a very rough, non-scientific, non-verifiable estimate, . . . the cost to the nation’s employers in terms of wages paid to unproductive workers could approach $6.5 billion." - outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc.

Replicon, a provider of time-tracking software, points to the same non-verifiable report and estimates wasted productivity at $18.7 billion.

I'm not even participating in the draft and I find myself wasting time on it. (C'mon, everyone is doing it.) Fantasy football elevates wasted time and money to a whole new level. According Wikipedia:

On fantasy lawyers and "things":

"Fantasy leagues may also engage services to make their things run smoothly and settle disputes. Leagues may deposit collected fees with fantasy football specific escrow companies, and settle disputes regarding trades or scoring by using lawyer-run fantasy football arbitration websites for a flat fee per resolution."

On rooting habits:

"The explosive popularity of fantasy sports, coupled with the availability of venues showcasing numerous live football games via satellite, has had significant effects on football viewing and rooting habits among participants."

On spending habits:

". . . fantasy football team managers are also more likely to spend on other industries. When compared to non-fantasy sports fans, team managers are significantly more likely to purchase alcohol, airline tickets, and sports magazines. They are also more likely to purchase fast food and soft drinks."

Even if I don't participate in this year's draft, I may find myself hiring a fantasy lawyer, rooting in a totally new way, and eating a lot of chips. Without a doubt, however, I will be avoiding work (which is never a waste of time).

Can't Give Them Away

Watching the game at Drifters, Kingston

... and coloring. 

The Cost of a Recall

According to a report published by the Grocery Manufacturers Association entitled, Capturing Recall Costs: Measuring and Recovering the Losses:

In August 2010, more than 500 million shell eggs distributed by an egg producer had to be recalled. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), from May 1 to October 15, 2010, approximately 2,500 illnesses associated with the eggs were reported, making it the largest recorded Salmonella Enteritis outbreak reported since the FDA’s outbreak surveillance began in the early 1970s. Total costs to American shell-egg producers have yet to be calculated. However, the negative media attention produced a drop in prices that cost the shell-egg industry over $100 million in September 2010 alone.

In 2007, the estimated cost of the peanut butter recall to one company due to Salmonella contamination was $78 million.5 The estimated cost to American peanut-containing product producers from the 2009 incident contamination of peanut butter by Salmonella was $1 billion.

How much will the peach recall cost? It's already old news. Not much has been said about it in the last month so we will likely never know how much the recall will cost Wawona, its suppliers, myriad retailers, and all their insurers. The CDC still does not list the peach recall as a listeria outbreak.

Anyway, it'll cost a bushel.

T

47.917418, -122.691660

On our way

Perfect

Fresh Washington Peaches are Here!

This announcement came to me yesterday via e-mail from Anthony's Restaurants. According to their website, "Peaches from the Northwest, especially Washington, are considered by many experts to be among the finest in the world." And, now, apparently, you can get them at Anthony's.

I bet Anthony's got them cheap.

I don't know where Wawona Packing Company gets its peaches but that company just issued a nationwide recall of  peaches as well as nectarines, plums, and pluots. Besides the peaches, Whole Foods Market has also recalled products made with peaches such as cakes, tarts, salsas, and prepared salads. No doubt, other food companies will need to do the same.

While listeria can be found in soil, regardless of where the peaches came from, this contamination was sourced at the packing company. According to the packing company's press release, the recall was initiated based on internal company testing. According to Cleveland.com, however, the internal company testing was a result of an Australian importer that found three peaches positive for listeria.

Listeria, by the way, was named for Joseph Lister, the same person for whom Listerine mouthwash was named.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates that approximately 260 deaths result from listeriosis occur every year.. The most serious outbreak of listeria resulted from contaminated cantaloupes from Jensen Farms in Colorado which resulted in 33 deaths in 2011. The CDC called it "the deadliest foodborne disease outbreak in the United States in nearly 90 years." There is a listeria outbreak listed for every year since then.

As of July 22nd, Wawona Packing Company was unaware of any illnesses related to the peach recall. Indeed, no listeria outbreak is listed with the CDC relating to contaminated peaches. However, I am familiar with someone who was tested for it just last week so maybe the CDC is still gathering information. He ate three peaches over three days before becoming violently ill. If infected, his health care provider is required to report it and a case report would been filed.

The case report is is 15 pages long, 12 of which are devoted to collecting a patient's food history. Interestingly, peaches are not listed. The list consists mostly of meats; cheeses; ready-to-eat salads (including hummus); precooked, smoked, or cured fish; and dairy products. The only fruits specifically listed are honeydew melon, cantaloupe, and watermelon. No vegetables are listed, although vegetables are listed elsewhere as a possible source of listeria.

Anthony's peaches might be fine but I would recommend their fish.

Diamonds Are Forever

. . . is a myth, apparently. Actually, diamonds are forever but, more importantly, they are a myth.

This all started when I wanted to know why, in movies or on TV, women wear their engagement rings inside their wedding rings when in real life they are worn the other way around. Has anyone else noticed this? Does anyone know why this is done?

I didn't find anything in my internet search that answered this question - which also makes me think I imagined seeing such a thing in the first place - but I did find this Yahoo internet query:

Why do women in the movies wear plain wedding bands?

Responses included:

• "It's a prop," 
• "Because the diamonds shine too much in the filming lights," and 
• "In movies, the wedding band is used to communicate someone is married, and the most obvious symbol of a marriage is the plain gold wedding band." Also,
• "If a character is the type to obviously go for an intricate wedding band fashioned with many stones, and it adds to the character development, it will be made so, but, otherwise, the plain band does the job."

So, if a simple wedding band is the easiest way to communicate a character is married, my speculation is that when two rings are worn, the actor wears the wedding ring on the outside for the same reason: simple communication. It's easier to see that the character is married. Otherwise, the rings may appear as "bling."

Meanwhile, I came across "Act surprised: Your wedding ring is a terrible investment" (from a website entitled Get Rich Slowly) which contains a link to Diamonds are Bullshit. The upshot is diamonds are not the investment jewelers would like you to think they are and the whole diamond market is, in fact, a great big - and very successful - advertising campaign.

We've all been duped.

Which brings me to my next unanswered question: What if everyone who owns diamonds sold them tomorrow on the open market? The success of the diamond marketing campaign would all but guarantee that would never happen. But if it did, could enough diamonds be sold to crash the diamond market? Could an actual market value be established for diamonds? (Okay, that was several unanswered questions.)

My advice to the newly engaged: Buy a used ring. That's as close to the market value as you'll ever get. Or skip the bling ring entirely. Marriage isn't about the ring anyway although many may think otherwise (or ascribe other meaning to it, chiefly relating to financial success). You could invest that money much more wisely elsewhere. (Heck, the stock market would a safer place.) For those of you who have been made to believe there is romance in a sparkly proposal (I was one - twice), you will learn that romance will come in far simpler gestures over the years.

You don't really need any rings at all but if you find you just need something to get the message across, take this cue from the movies: Just wear a plain gold band.

So Much Coffee, So Little Time

I'm going to the Arts Fair today. There will be over 300 exhibits and probably as many coffee shops. There are three Starbucks alone just on the perimeter of the fair - two on Eighth Street and one on Bellevue Way. There are two more, south, on Bellevue Way just blocks away. I need to stop by one of them to stock up on coffee. (20% off this weekend.)

I don't know how many other coffee shops there are in the area that makes up the Arts Fair. I'll try to count them and will let you know.

Meanwhile, I've brought my own cup.

Get 'Em While They're Young

Creative Coding for Kids

" We're helping kids define their relationship with technology, at a young age. "

What, We're Not Good Enough?

If you've been breathing lately, you may have noticed a certain amount of a hullabaloo concerning an upcoming film called Fifty Shades of Grey (haha - I almost wrote Filthy Shades of Grey). A good deal of the book takes place in Seattle, however filming was done in Vancouver, B.C., no doubt due to favorable government subsidies.

Washington State University Vancouver

"Byran Hall" by Iidxplus - Own work.
Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
via Wikimedia Commons.

Part of the story takes place in Vancouver - the other one, in Washington (the other one, on the west coast) - at Washington State University Vancouver. The movie, however, will feature the University of British Columbia (which, coincidentally, is located at Point Grey).

University of British Columbia
"Irving K. Barber Library" by CjayD -

http://www.flickr.com/photos/85424459@N08/7835821172.

Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons. 

The Fairmont Hotel will be used in the movie instead of Portland's Heathman in the book.

The Fairmont Hotel
"Hotel vanc 2007" by Ken Walker kgw@lunar.ca - Own work.
Licensed under CC BY 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons.

The Heathman Hotel"Heathman Hotel Portland" by Ulmanor (talk) en.wikipedia
Self-made Transferred from en.wikipedia; transfer was stated to be made by User:Werewombat.. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

I probably won't see it regardless of where the movie was shot. It won't be good - in my preconceived opinion. (That won't keep it from making a ton of money, though.)

Oh, well. We're used to being overlooked here in Vancouver (the other one), Washington (the other one).

[Added 7/28/14]

I forgot to mention that some of the story takes place in Meydenbauer Bay. (Not in the bay, itself, but on a waterfront estate adjacent thereto.) This happens to be a place where I spend a considerable amount of time.

I have no idea where they shot the scenes in place of this locale. Probably in some other place called Bellevue.

Life in the Dessert

Ron's Log

Life in the desert.

Why We Need A Walmart

This is gonna bring everybody over to the pro-Walmart side: their ice cream sandwiches never melt. Never! Think of what a great relief that would be to the kids (and adults) of hot, hot Desert Hot Springs. (Didn't that 114° bring a smile to your face?!)

What I visualize is, after the Walmart has been approved, built and opened, we the residents of DHS celebrate summer by using Great Value Ice Cream Sandwiches to build a scale replica of the Washington Monument in the parking lot of the Walmart. Leave it for days. I think this would be good to do starting about July 1, so we could then blow it up with fireworks on July 4 (or 5 or whatever).

Where Am I, Again?

Let's just say you commute 150 miles to work and then you get a long weekend off. What do you do? Drive more, of course!

We had the opportunity to spend five nights - in succession - in one location.  On top of that, it was the place that we generally call "home." A rarity. As it turns out, we stayed there all five nights but still added close to 600 miles to the odometer. "It's good to be home" doesn't mean what it used to, apparently.

After driving from the southern border of Washington, and stopping for a night's rest at "home," I went on to the norther border to spend some time with my grandson. I brought him back for the weekend and we took one day to go to Remlinger Farms which, among other things, features an amusement park for the smaller set. Thankfully, we didn't have to take him home again - a parent came to fetch him - before we returned to the southern part of the state.

This amounted to about 10 hours in the car, or thereabouts.

It's good to be back at work where I can get some rest.

The Earth Project: Flying High

The Earth Project: Flying High (Video - roughly 3.5 minutes.)

" Google and a team of engineers are building the wind turbine of the future. The turbine, which operates much like a kite, is essentially a carbon fiber wing that flies 700 feet above a traditional turbine and generates about 50 percent more power. It’s tethered by a cable that transmits the energy to the ground. By flying higher, the turbine reaches a stronger and more reliable wind source that allows it to operate more efficiently than turbines on the ground. " 

Meanwhile, Dead Air: End of Tax Credit Deflates Wind Power

" The tax credit, originally enacted in 1992, in its most recent form gave turbine owners 2.3 cents for every kilowatt-hour of power their windmills produced and applied also to wind power construction. It sounds small, but the credit added up. It not only eased the intense upfront costs of constructing high-tech turbines, but also often made the difference when wind was compared to competitors in the solar, coal, and oil and gas sectors – all of which still receive tax breaks and other incentives. Oil, gas and coal, for example, received more than $21 billion in state and federal subsidies last year, according to a new report by Oil Change International, an environmental advocacy group.

" 'It should go,' Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., himself a leading defender of coal subsidies, said of the credit last month at a policy dinner hosted by The Hill, a Capitol Hill newspaper. 'Hell, your mother only carried you nine months.' "

You can leave my mother out of it.

Traffic Thought For The Day

I just thought Pacific Northwest drivers were stupid.

The first time the sun comes out, traffic is a mess. After a dry spell, rain will cause another mess. C'mon, people! The big round shiny thing, is the sun! And, it's the freaking northwest! It rains here!

But, no. There is scientific evidence that PNW drivers are just bad drivers.

" During long periods of dry weather, oils and other fluids from automobiles dry and build up on roads. The so-called "first wet" is indeed the most hazardous. That's when rainwater loosens the surface oils, creating nasty, greasy driving surfaces that often catch drivers off guard.I've even seen transportation and insurance studies showing that many people need a readjustment to driving in rain after the summer months.After an especially long dry spell, the roads can feel like black ice when drivers hit the brakes. " 

The Oregonian - Slick roads, crashes causing morning commute nightmare in Portland and Vancouver

That explains this morning's commute. I'll be interested in reading this guy's explanation when the sun comes out again later this week.

Aggressive childish insult!

Audio: This American Life - Episode 241: 20 Acts in 60 Minutes, Act Ten

(Roughly three minutes.)

Yes

While there is some kissing, this movie is largely kiss-free. And, definitely worth the rental at RedBox.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Create Your Own State (Everyone's Doing It)

" This is serious stuff, or as at least as serious as things ever get in a state where washed-up actors become governor, the single nip of a swimmer by a juvenile shark at the Manhattan Beach pier attracts more attention than a statewide drought and average people boast of their Kim Kardashian sightings. " 

USA Today - Voices: Is breaking up hard to do for California?

It's Like Canceling a Gym Membership*

If the idea of calling your calling company is worse than nails on a chalkboard, do not listen to this:



Slate - A Former Comcast Employee Explains That Horrifying Customer Service Call

" In the meantime, if you’re considering canceling your Comcast service, here’s a simple tip: Tell them you’re moving out of the country. As txmadison wrote in his post, 'it's called an unavoidable disconnect and it's the least impactful to the rep's numbers and there's nothing he can do about it. If you talk about price, competitors, lack of choices, service problems, etc, a good retention rep will do everything they can to try to save you.' "

 txmadison also wrote:

" Comcast literally provides an incentive for this kind of behavior. It's the same reason people's bills are always fucked up: people stuffing them with things they don't need or in some cases don't even agree to. "

Just last month, our cable bill went up $20 from the month before, which was $20 more than the month before that. It happens all the time. I make Hubby call to complain about the bill which usually works for a short time. Just last week, he called to disconnect service altogether.

Guess what. We still have Comcast.

Better luck next time.

*For advice on quitting the gym, see this.

Salad, Anyone?

Nice Try, Vegans: Plants Can Actually Hear Themselves Being Eaten - Gizmodo

" While it's still unclear whether or not plants can actually feel us sinking our teeth in, one thing is for certain: You can be damn well sure they're hearing it. "

H/T - Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me!

Shocking Behavior

Most men would rather shock themselves than be alone with their thoughts - The Washington Post

" . . . when left alone in the room for a 15-minute thinking session, the participants exhibited some shocking behavior. One man (whose data was left out of the study) shocked himself 190 times. “I have no idea what was going on there,” Wilson said. “But for most people, it was more like seven times.”

" And while only 6 of the 24 women shocked themselves, 12 of the 18 men did so. "

H/T - Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me!

Spurious or no?

Just be careful if you plan to retire in Florida.

Figure 4:  Top Five Cities From Which
Potentially Fraudulent Tax Returns Were Filed

City, State	Number of Tax Returns	Refunds Issued
Tampa, Florida	88,724	$468,382,079
Miami, Florida	74,496	$280,509,449
Atlanta, Georgia	29,787	$77,113,392
Detroit, Michigan	23,870	$74,313,933
Houston, Texas	22,754	$72,089,847
Total	239,631	$972,408,700

Source:  TIGTA analysis of TY 2010 tax returns.

Figure 5 shows the number of questionable tax returns we identified by type of individual whose identity appears to have been stolen.  These categories can commonly involve individuals who are not required to file a tax return.

Figure 5:  Analysis of Potentially Fraudulent Tax Refunds for TY 2010

Type of Individual	Number of Tax Returns	Refunds Issued
Deceased	104,950	$415,047,568
Elderly	76,338	$374,419,730
Citizens of U.S. Possessions	67,789	$387,183,428
Students (ages 16 to 22)	288,252	$695,343,022
Children (under age 14)	2,274	$3,960,327
Income Level Does Not Require Tax Return Filing[17]	952,612	$3,345,064,109
Total	1,492,215	$5,221,018,184

Source:  TIGTA analysis of TY 2010 tax returns.

Source: Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration, Reference Number: 2012-42-080

Traffic Thought For The Day

Have you ever spotted an off-season Santa? I see him driving around town once in a while. He's often wearing an undershirt (because it's relatively hot in Seattle) and suspenders. He hasn't shaved and he hasn't lost any of his winter weight, either. He's never in the kind of car you think he'd be in. He's usually driving a Pinto or a Ford Focus and I most often spot him near a Walmart. He's not as glamorous in real life as he is when he's working.

Yesterday, I'm pretty sure I spotted Superman in traffic. From the looks of it, he might not be that good of a driver. The bumper on his 10-year-old minivan was starting to come loose and there were a couple of small dents here and there. Of course, Superman doesn't have a car so he might not have much experience behind the wheel. He might not even have a driver's license! Clark Kent might have a car but Clark Kent wears glasses.

This guy wasn't wearing glasses but I could tell it was Superman.. He had a giant head with a big, strong jaw. He didn't have his mask on - or his cape, obviously - and he was wearing the rest of his unitard under street clothes. But he wore his gloves which stuck out from his shirtsleeves and were positioned at ten and two on the steering wheel.

DOH! Superman doesn't wear gloves! That changes everything!

This guy was what I imagine Superman would look like if  it was his turn to drive the kids to school. But since Clark does't live in Seattle, it was probably someone else - maybe some other superhero that lives in Seattle and drives a minivan. He could be on his way here.

Well, it definitely wasn't Santa Claus.

The Fuss

Huffington Post calls it "hauntingly beautiful."

The Christian Science Monitor said, "it felt like we may have just witnessed the girl’s birth as an underage sex symbol."

The girl is eleven years old and this video has been viewed over five million times. I thought it was pretty amazing.

Boeing fuselages in Montana river after train derails - NWCN.com

Credit: Kyle Massick

Cheese Behind Bars

"It ain’t just license plates anymore. Inmates are making a surprising array of products for small businesses. You can even find some in your local Whole Foods."

Fortune - Prison labor’s new frontier: Artisanal foods

http://fortune.com/2014/06/02/prison-labor-artisanal/

Pilots Have It Rough

This job has the world's worst tax return - CNN Money

Take the example of an American expat pilot who flies a 13-hour direct route from Hong Kong to Los Angeles.

Money made during the three flying hours over Asia qualifies as foreign income, but payment earned during the remaining 10 hours over the Pacific Ocean does not. This means the pilot is liable for U.S. tax on about 77% of earnings during that flight.

Emphasis mine. The key word, here, is expat. U.S. citizens must report worldwide income. The upside to living in this country is, in this situation, you wouldn't have to keep track of all your foreign income. The downside is you have to pay tax on all of it.

On the other hand, if you can prove you live outside the United States, you can exclude a certain amount of foreign income on your tax return. That's where the definition of "foreign" comes in. Keeping track of where you earned your income can get onerous especially in the case of pilots and others who earn their income as they move about the globe.

If you think that's confusing, check the definition of "expat." Common usage of "expatriate" is a U.S. citizen living or working in another country. In fact, the word is really only in one section of the Internal Revenue Code ((877A(g)(2)) which says an expat is somebody that has given up their U.S. citizenship. So an expat within the IRC definition of the word would only have to report income earned while in the United States.

Anyway, you would think there'd be an app for that.

Echo The Sound of Silence

Oh, yes. Let it echo into eternity.

Our upstairs landlord at our Portland-area apartment is away on vacation. The silent bliss is enough for me to want to stay here and work forever.

(I may have exaggerated a teensy bit. But it is, oh, so nice.)

Two Ways to Waste Time - Do It Today!

Wikiweb app makes wasting time on Wikipedia even easier - The Verge

" Wikipedia is a great resource for finding a quick answer to a random query, but it's also an incredible time sink. "

Not to be confused with Webwiki.com, another time suck, which is "everything about websites." You'll find Chocolate Chip Mint here, ranking 724,043. Stop by and write a review if you have some time to kill and let's move this puppy up to 724,000!

Write your most excellent review here.

And, We're Back

For about a week or so, this site was temporarily renamed Talenti Sea Salt Caramel Gelato. Just one bite transformed my entire outlook on everything. Oh, yes, it's that good.

Alas, it's all gone.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Tip Not From Heloise

Ladies, have you been looking for a reason to clean out your purse without having to buy a new one? Take this advice: 

1. Go out for dinner. This is a critical step because you might as well get something out of this exercise if not a new purse. 

2. Order a nice bottle of wine to go with your meal. New purses can be quite expensive so if you do it right, you should be able to get a very nice bottle of wine and still be way ahead. 

3. Don't drink and drive. Have a modest glass with dinner and then ask your waiter to re-cork the bottle and package it for transport. 

4. Be sure to put the wine in your purse before leaving the restaurant. 

5. Put said purse in the trunk. It's the law. 

6. You can skip shopping at Fred Meyer on the way home. It's senior discount night but it's not as good of a deal as you might think. Unless you need to pick something up anyway and it's on sale. Like more wine. 

7. Lug all your groceries into the house. And your workout clothes from this morning. 

8. Change out of your work clothes, get a wine glass, and find a deck chair. 

9. Open your purse to find the cork has become dislodged and all your essential belongings are steeped in $50 worth of Cabernet Sauvignon. 

10. You can throw away all the soaked receipts, business cards, and lottery tickets. Face it, you didn't win anyway. And who really uses checks anymore? 

This tested process will work for anyone. No experience required. If your purse has a good lining, you should be able to pour whatever wine has collected in the bottom of your purse into your glass and still salvage the evening. Just pick out the occasional stray hair (It's not gross if they're yours) and drink a toast to your new, lightweight tote. 

Cheers. (And, you're welcome.)

Sound Familiar?

The shots fired by the Bosnian Serb on 28 June 1914 sucked Europe's great powers into four years of warfare. 

Sarajevo marks 100 years since Archduke Franz Ferdinand shooting - BBC News

The shot heard around the world - 100 years ago today.

Spelling Doesn't Count

Good thing because the food here is excellent. Try numbers 34 and 35. 

I have to admit, though, you have to be pretty paranoid if you think the kiddos are capable of all that. 

WSJ Offers Work Avoidance Advice

3. Need the time off from your job to watch the game? Simply cut this story out of the print edition of today's newspaper with a pair of scissors—or, if you don't know what the print edition of a newspaper is, pull it up to your smartphone or tablet. Show it to your boss, and the boss must reward you with Thursday off. Trust me on this. It's the law. 

World Cup: How to Skip Work to Watch U.S. vs. Germany - WSJ

Hubby Wants a New Toaster

Currently on sale at NFLShop.com