2024 skidded to an end like going over a cliff - the first few days of 2025 falling, falling, suspended in air. The last month of the year was a blur as we raced and raced to prepare for - no, not the apocalypse, quite the contrary. We raced, stressed out of our minds like preppers for the endtimes, to - ironically - what's intended to be quite the opposite: a celebration of life, love, family, and togetherness. And, apparently, presents, large meals, and copious amounts of sugar that is both distributed to and gathered from the people we love.
When it's over, the momentum of December launches us into January and a new year with no particular purpose. So, we make them up. They are called resolutions. But I don't have any so these last few days have been directionless inertia like floating in jello.
What's know as "the holidays" suspends my Monday through Friday routine for two weeks. For the first week, and the whole prior month if I'm being honest, Monday through Friday carries the extra burden of a deadline for all this cheer. No wonder everyone comes down with something as soon as it's all over. We're all exhausted and physically drained leaving our immune systems exposed to the elements and/or each other.
When the hustle and bustle is stripped away and the Monday through Friday is still suspended, I quickly found myself losing track of what day it is, wandering from room to room in sweatpants and no bra. I haven't worn a bra for nearly 10 days now and I'm concerned I may never go back. (This is not something I've ever experienced before and now I'm wondering what took me so long to discover this new joy.)
"Snap out of it!" I keep telling myself. (In my journal, it's in all caps with a lot more exclamation points!) Monday is literally around the corner and I will not only have to find a bra, I may have to shower, wash my hair, and wear actual clothes instead of my pajamas.
There's a very real part of me that doesn't want to go back to "normal" even though I know that's what's best for me. I could quickly devolve into a bowl of jelly if I don't learn to interact with other humans soon. Alas, I downloaded a solitaire app to my phone and I can't make myself stop playing it. This, when I have a perfectly good book to finish, soups and stews I could be making, and a knit blanket project that is literally only a couple of rows from being finished.
I am managing to exercise every day and we are feeding ourselves - mostly leftovers, however. We are not totally lost.
But we still don't know what day it is.
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