Just In

I'm sure I've lamented here before about the upstairs neighbors we used to have. We were temporarily living in a mother-in-law unit on the bottom level of a massive house in an affluent neighborhood. The unit was small but it was comfortable, furnished, and private. We had a large, west facing deck that offered peek-a-boo views and plenty of shade. One of its few drawbacks was schlepping groceries in the rain from the curb around back to our entrance. That, and our upstairs neighbors.

Our landlords, who lived above us, were a married couple. She was a tightly packed, petite woman and was home during the day most of the time. Small as she was, she was a heavy walker. Back and forth, we could hear her and it seemed she never stood still.

In the evenings, as we heard her - back and forth, back and forth - we imagined that she cleared the dinner table one spoon, fork, and knife at a time. Stack your dishes!, we would yell at the ceiling. Save yourself a trip!

The husband traveled and was often away on business. We could always tell his comings and goings because we could hear him dragging his rolling bag across the kitchen tiles. Early in the morning, we could hear him - padump padump padump - as he rolled over to what we imagined was the coffee maker. Then - padump padump padump - back to the kitchen table. Then - padump padump padump - to deposit the cup in the sink. Then - padump padump padump - out the front door.

If he was home on the weekends, he would work in his wood shop which was located on the bottom floor next to our bedroom. Late at night, we could hear him using a buzz saw just on the other side of our headboard.

They didn't entertain much. Once, there was a cocktail party held on the deck above ours. It seemed jolly but not raucous. The footsteps on the deck above didn't resonate like they did inside the house. Another time, however, she hosted a birthday party for one of her small grandchildren. On that occasion I could have sworn that she hired dancing elephants. It was a whole family of heavy walkers!

We lived there for less than a year before we purchased a condo and moved. The new location was in the flight path of a major airport, a half mile from a small regional airport, yards from a railroad and state highway, and steps from a major river supporting tug and barge traffic. Even with all that, it was quieter than the mother-in-law unit we previously occupied.

Our condo is a three story, townhouse style place. No neighbors above, but we have neighbors on either side. When we moved in, a confirmed bachelor was on one side and a librarian lived on the other. Both were sociable but quiet neighbors. For two years, all was well until the librarian moved out.

A self-described hedonist moved in and we can hear everything. He likes to crank up the stereo at 6 am and entertain women at night. When I say we can hear everything, I mean we can hear everything. We know how many women he entertains, how often, and for how long. We've approached him about this and even tried to befriend him to no avail.

In the summertime, when he cranks up the music and starts to cook an odoriferous meal, we could just jump on our bikes and pedal to a brewery, sit in the sunshine, or attend the local independent movie theater. Now, our prospects for escaping are more dismal. It's not impossible to get away, to avoid the noise. Sometimes, we escape to a different floor, one he isn't occupying.

There may be an assessment coming and we welcome it; the required repairs are necessary. We've been here long enough, and bought at the right time, to have the equity to support such an assessment. Our neighbor, however, just bought in at a $100,000 more than we paid next door. He's not so happy about it. While the repairs won't fix the soundproofing between units, we're hoping it improves the neighborhood. (We hope he moves out.)