Never Visit the Sausage Factory

... and Other Tales from the Dark Side.

Tax Season Part II ended Monday. That's the dark side. I'll have a break from work for a couple of weeks and then I'll start gearing up for next year. T minus six months until the next deadline.

I never know what to say when people ask what I do for a living. Usually, "income tax return preparer" is enough to avoid any follow up inquiry. If I say "accountant," others often hear "C.P.A." which I'm not. In any case, they hear "I give away advice for free" which I don't. Because, not C.P.A.

Most people are eager to change the subject after I mention income tax preparation. Or they want to involve me in a political discussion often having to do with an area of taxation I know nothing about. I like what I do for a living most of the time. But that doesn't mean I want to talk about it. And if I did, you wouldn't want to hear about it. It's deadly boring stuff.

Bond premium amortization, total and at-risk basis calculations, stock option basis adjustments, and ordinary income recapture on market discount bonds aren't necessarily interesting topics but they are highly technical concepts that the ordinary investor (and often their brokers) are oblivious - tax time or otherwise. I like the technical mechanics of a tax return. And I like the solo nature of preparing one.

I'm the person in the back room crunching the numbers and manhandling the tax software not the person who can talk about this stuff and relay the bigger picture to the client. I just make sense of the paperwork and try to be as technically accurate for as reasonable a price possible. And then I do it over and over and faster and faster until my head nearly explodes. Then I take a break, get reacquainted with my loved ones and start all over again. Sound like fun? 

I probably shouldn't write the recruiting brochure. Anyway, enough about me, what about that sausage factory?

The day after tax day, yesterday, a contractor showed up bright and early to get started on our hardwood floor installation. They seemed like nice guys. Showed them around and then headed out for an appointment. Came back and instant construction zone: garage is full of equipment, a load of lumber in the living room, another one in the dining room, dust everywhere, kitchen towels in use for who knows what, toilet paper exhausted in one bathroom, a borrowed phone charger. I can't wait to see how it all looks when it's done but I decided I didn't need to see how it gets done.

I meant to take a "before" picture but forgot before I left. This is a not-very-good picture of "just-got-started." I'm heading out of town for a couple weeks while they take over the entire space. Theoretically, it'll be done when I get back but I don't hold out much hope. These things never go the way you think they will.

Also, a not-very-good picture of me in front of a purple car. It was a Charger that was for sale. How would I look in that ride?

Which reminds me, finally, of Baby Driver. It's not a movie I would have picked but I had a whole lot of fun watching it. Check it out.