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I have three left - of the "ones I know about" variety. I have an untold number of extensions to file today. It's a long list - I didn't bother to count.

To help me through my day, someone advised me to try adding grass-fed butter and coconut oil to my coffee. (Look up Bulletproof Coffee.) An interesting idea, I think, since I like butter and I like coffee. I haven't yet tried the nutritionally fashionable coconut oil but I am very intrigued by the idea of it. It's on my list of things to try right after I finish my Costco-sized vat of previously fashionable extra virgin, cold pressed, imported olive oil.

Why not put these fine ingredients into a steaming cup of coffee? I'll tell you why: because that space is already occupied by coffee. I don't make my coffee "with room" (Starbuckspeak for don't fill the cup up all the way because I'm planning to pollute it with cream). If there's room in my cup, it means there isn't enough coffee in it.

There's no cream in my coffee, no mixers in my whiskey, and no flavoring of any kind manufactured into my potato chips. (That's my kind of paleo diet.) The only time there's something other than coffee in my coffee cup is when I'm drinking a latte made with soy milk (made fashionable in the 1990s).

Instead, I am starting April 15th with a nutritious meal of two scrambled egg whites and ham. (For flavor, I added fresh red pepper, an organic Yukon gold potato, substituted bacon for the ham, and aded in two egg yolks, all sautéed in well-intentioned butter.)

I appreciate your suggestion, Leslie, and your thoughtful comments, Beth and Laura. I'm looking forward to the day that Starbucks has this on its menu. Seriously, I would love to give this a try. But it probably won't be on April 15th. I have work to do.