No Business, All Pleasure

I spent this last weekend traveling to the Mecca of work avoidance. I brought no pencil, no paper. Nay, no laptop. For days, I've not communicated with the outside world - with the exception of other deciples (a word I use loosely lest I suggest effort) and contributors. Writing this post, in fact, is at odds with my pilgrimage. 

Photographs were restricted at Yet Another Media Empire, offices of 76003.1414. Inside headquarters, we connected with the Midwest Bureau via satellite for the first ever YAME Non-Working World Conference. 

There was never any question as to whether any actual work would get done. And, as it turns out, no one got paid either - an issue I mean to take up with the Grump. However, Iast I checked the staff listing, there was no one assigned to take complaints. 

I traveled with my protege, an aspiring initiate who brought an extensive and well documented resume of time avoidance which, in and of itself, nearly disqualified him from membership. We don't issue certificates here for that sort of thing here, the Grump explained. And even if we did, he continued, there's no one here that would actually do it.

The reason for such a pilgrimage is to understand the lore and history of work avoidance which, as I learned, is wholely separate and apart from procrastination. To such end many tales were told - not all of which I entirely believe although many, many, many artifacts were produced and, in fact, foisted upon us (in the most loving of ways) as evidence. 

Soon I must leave this oasis and reintegrate with those who value work but not before our very own ticker tape parade to which the entire community has been invited to participate. To practice, we stopped traffic yesterday afternoon in all four directions in a busy downtown intersection and crossed from corner to opposite corner (cross-wise), playing kazoos and waving. We could have used more practice but we used our allotment of work pushing the Walk Button. 

The trip was well worth the - for lack of a better word - effort. It was a whirlwind of nothingness, lots of sitting around, and copious amounts of food. My protege and I are honored to have been allowed into the hallowed inner void. There is no doubt we will make the trek again soon.