Going Pro

Hubby has a game on his iPad that keeps track of how much time he spends goofing off. Available stats include time spent on the the current game, time spent goofing off today, or a cumulative sum of wasted time since the game was installed. He points to the game as documented proof of the time committed to goofing off and now claims to be a professional.

While being a professional avoider of work may seem oxymoronic, the professional in me suggests that as a pro he is now eligible to deduct the expenses associated with goofing off. As with professional poker players, the ability to deduct expenses rests solely on the ability to prove one plays poker for a living and not for recreation.

It would seem that the expenses associated with goofing off would be minimal but just imagine the possibilities for a moment. A book from the library wouldn't cost a dime but that is for amateur avoiders. A professional might spend hours on the internet (which even at a coffee house would incur the cost of several cups of coffee) searching to purchase the proper electronic reading device, followed by subscriptions to expensive publications, downloads of the most recent best sellers, and a trip to the nearest tropical beach to soak it all in.

The downfall here, as you might suspect, is there is generally no income involved in goofing off. Even if deducting goofing off expenses would serve to reduce one's taxes, the IRS might become suspicious of the "business nature" of the enterprise. Truly a dilemma for one seeking professional status in the arena of work avoidance.

Play on, my dearest. Your efforts at avoiding work are duly noted. It's quite possible that there's no such thing as a professional avoider of work but I welcome you to a small group of pioneers who are blazing the trail.

"Blazing" might not be the right word. "Waiting for it to happen" is more like it. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.