Pure Genius

Came home today to find my computer's battery backup needing attention, so signaled by a constant beeping sound coming from under my desk. "What the hell?" I thought whilst on my hands and knees, still in my work clothes, my ass the only part of me that might have been visible had anyone else come into the room. "What if I just push this button here?"

I thought it best to be cautious here. Unplugging things I don't completely understand could be a mistake so I changed into something more comfortable and poured myself a glass of wine. "Maybe it will just stop. Or, if I go outside I won't be able to hear it."

Of course, sooner or later I would want to go to bed and the problem would still be there so I decided the first step was to label all the electrical cords that were tangled beneath my desk using what I had on hand: yellow yarn and blue construction paper. What I found was that I had more wires than operational gadgets and when I was done labeling the mess was only slightly more organized and a lot more colorful.

I powered down my computer and monitor but I hesitated with my modem and router. What if I turn them off and I need to know a password or something to turn them back on? What if I have to call my cable company? What if I have to go back to looking things up in the encyclopedia and mailing handwritten letters? I was afraid my whole world could change if I snipped the wrong wire.

I called my not-so-local computer guru who helped me identify the little black boxes with blinking lights as the aforementioned modem and router. A patient man, this guru, as he managed to reduce his geeky advice to monosyllables for my more-blonde-than-usual benefit. Said advice boiled down to, "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

And it was, I'm here to say. Of course, I could have claimed an internet blackout as my reason for not writing sooner but I should have thought of that earlier.