Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A Bedtime Story

"OMG, Cindy, that looks painful. How did you get those blisters?"

"I went dancing half the night," she sighed. "It was magical - I may have met my true prince!"

"Shut up! What does he look like?”

“Seriously? You sound like my evil stepsisters right now.”

“Whatever! How come you only have blisters on one foot?”

“I was only wearing one shoe.”

Cindy’s friend gave her an exasperated look and motioned for her to continue.

“I threw it at some asshole. He whistled at me from his car and asked if I wanted a ride.”

“Shut up!”

“Yeah, like it was happening all day. I tell you, if you want to feel like a rock star just go to Vancouver.”

“When were you in Canada?”

“Not that Vancouver, the other one. By Portland, you know?”

“Wha...?”

“I don’t know what came over me. It was like someone cast a spell on me, you know? One minute I’m invisible, the next I’m Paris Hilton or whatever. I mean, that NEVER happens at home. In Bellevue, I’m practically invisible, you know?”

“But you’re beautiful! What are you talking about?”

“Compared to what? No one sees me if I’m even in the same county as my stepsisters. They have long, perfect hair - all shiny and blowing away from their faces from some perpetual, invisible wind machine or something. I mean, I can’t make my hair do anything. If I straighten it, it’s frizzy. If I curl it, it falls flat. The boobs my stepmother paid for didn’t hurt any either.

“Everywhere they go, boys are bumping into things trying to get an eyeful. I’m the one that has to help them into their size-freaking-two jeans, you know. It’s not fair. And, it’s not just when I’m with them. It’s like I’m just invisible.”

“Not to me.”

“Whatever, you’re my friend. That doesn’t count.”

Cindy’s friend rolled her eyes.

“It’s gets old, you know? Sometimes, I just go up to my special place in the attic and just cry myself to sleep. Pathetic, right? Well, I had this dream about a week ago. There was a woman all dressed in white and she was sort of sparkly and floating. She kinda looked like my mom but it wasn’t, if that makes any sense. Somehow, she's the one that gave me  the idea to go to Vancouver. So the next morning, I got up and snuck out of the house and took the train.”

“Get out!”

“It was weird. The second I got off the train it was like I was on another planet. People kept looking at me. At first, I thought maybe I had something hanging out of my nose or I’d left my zipper undone. I kept checking my pants and looking for my reflection everywhere. I couldn’t figure it out. I bought a cheap pair of sunglasses the first chance I got but that seemed to make it worse. I got even more attention but I started to like it. I started walking like maybe I was somebody really famous but I was in Vancouver and slumming it because I was trying to be incognito, right? Like, ‘I’m famous but I hope you don’t recognize me.’”

“I can’t decide if you sound like a retard right now or if that was totally awesome.”

“Totally awesome. Well, at first it was. Then the looks became whistles and guys were shouting things out their cars. I mean, does that ever work? Like, ‘Oooh, baby, the way you just shouted at me makes me want to do you’? Does anybody ever hook up that way or are guys all just stupid?”

“Duh...”

“Finally, this dude rolled up in some fancy car. What’s the car with the horse on the front?”

“Um, Porche?” Cindy’s friend offered.

“I don’t know but it looked expensive. I don’t know why you’d have a car like that in orange. Yellow, maybe, or red but not orange. Anyway, he slows way down and sort of pulls over and rolls down his window and he was, like, totally gorgeous. I totally forgot my rock star act because I thought maybe he was a rock star. As if.

“So he says, ‘C’mon, baby, you know you want to get in my pumpkin shell’ and then I don’t know what happened. Like, that was the stupidest thing to say EVER and it totally erased everything.” Cindy made a motion like she was erasing a whiteboard.

“So then, what?”

“So then I threw my shoe at him.”

“OMG! He must have been pissed!”

“I don’t know. I heard glass breaking and I took off running. I ducked into a place just to get away from him but there was a crowd in there and I thought it might be a good place to hide.”

“Did he follow you?”

“I never saw him again. Or, my shoe for that matter.”

“So then what happened?” Cindy’s friend was breathless.

“I thought, ‘Screw it!’ and got out on the dance floor and danced until my feet bled. Well, one of them anyway. It was incredible.”

“Where does Mr. Wonderful come in?”

“I’m not exactly sure. There were a bunch of us out there all dancing together. He was just one of the guys and he looked at me like he appreciated me. There’s a difference, you know, between being appreciated and being ogled. I don’t know how to explain it but I think I like being appreciated better.

“And, then it was midnight and the band took a break and everything got quiet. Like just for a second, it was totally silent and it was like we just saw each other for the first time but like we’ve known each other forever at the same time.”

“Did you kiss him?”

“No,” Cindy sighed, “I didn’t kiss him.”

“What’s wrong with you? Why the hell not?”

“I was afraid it would break whatever spell I was in. Anyway, I never saw him again either.”

“You didn’t get his phone number? What’s his name?”

“No, and I don’t know. All I know is he sells shoes.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Maybe. But I’m thinking I’ll go back to Vancouver and look for a new pair of shoes.”

1 comment:

Laura A H elliott said...

LOVE. This was so fun to read Lynn! Thanks for sharing...I love the twists:)