I Know It's Hard But Try To Get A Grip

Went to Starbucks today - not so much to get coffee as to avoid work. And, I was tempted to go back to work! There was only one person in front of me but, still, I waited in line for 15 minutes. I'm not that patient, usually. And, I recognized that I didn't even really want a cup of coffee all that much. (Is there a 12-step program for this? As in, Al-Have-Another-Cuppa-Joe-anon?) I almost gave up but I'm no quitter! (I'll let you figure out what I'm talking about here.)

She had four kids running about the place: two girls, who were older, and two boys. She was careful to order drinks without sugar but didn't seem to mind the amount of caffeine her kids were getting. (I was once in a Subway restaurant when a boy asked his daddy if he could have a Coke. Daddy said, no - have a Mountain Dew. . .)

I'm sitting in the sun and getting drowsy so stick with me. . . .

What I noticed while I was waiting is how these people interacted with each other - this woman and her children. (Daddy was in the truck in which these poeple had spent considerably more time than is generally recommended for a family of six, the woman informed me. Good for Daddy, I thought.) They were rude to each other.

I found several instances of this type of behavior when we were in Disneyland, recently. Parents behaved badly with their badly behaving children. (It's a small world after all . . .)

Mother to son: You will eat this peanut butter sandwich or you will not go on any more rides!

Sure. You're going to bring your entire family to Disneyland, pay a thousand bucks to get in the joint (at which entrance is a sign posting the dangers that the building materials used to construct said happy place could kill you at the eye level of a ten-year-old, not to mention the rides) and hinge the whole deal on a peanut butter sandwich.

Be nice to your kids!

Listen, I get it. I wasn't always nice to my kids. I can still hear all the terrible things I ever said to them and I will regret every word. I am a much better grandparent than I ever was as a parent. That probably has to do with the fact that grandparenting isn't a full time job (generally speaking).

But if it's terrible to listen to what you're saying when I'm standing in line at Starbucks just think about how horrible it is to listen to if you're your kid.

Shouldn't Be News But Probably Is

Talking Points Memo - Princeton Study: U.S. No Longer An Actual Democracy

Using data drawn from over 1,800 different policy initiatives from 1981 to 2002, the two conclude that rich, well-connected individuals on the political scene now steer the direction of the country, regardless of or even against the will of the majority of voters. 

Surprised? Jimmy Carter has some thoughts on the subject, too.

Stats

According to Blogger, I have readers in Russia.

A) Who are you?

B) Why?

C) Is that you, Edward?

D) None of the above.

The Ants Go Marching

Or someone does.

I've been married close to 25 years now. Our first apartment was on the bottom floor of a three-story building. We would occasionally hear little footsteps running above us. And, sometimes, we would poke the ceiling with a broom handle to let them know it was time to settle the kids. But I don't remember it being all that loud, on the whole.

Then we bought a house so noise wasn't really an issue.

More recently, we rented an apartment in Vancouver. (The U.S. one. Oh? You didn't know the U.S. had a Vancouver? Well, look it up.) The building was built in 1945 and features squeaky hardwood floors throughout. Again, we were on the bottom floor and we could hear the guy upstairs when he got home. We just turned up the volume on the TV - not a big deal.

Our next apartment was next to the Columbia River. Unfortunately, it was also next to two airports, the railroad tracks, a freeway, and major trucking operations. That apartment was loud but, I have to say, we didn't hear the neighbors much (unless it was warm enough to open the windows and someone's cat got loose).

Our current location is a mother-in-law apartment in a nice home in a swanky neighborhood. In 25 years, this is the loudest place I've ever lived - neighbor-wise. I'd like to mention here that we just got back from vacationing in a place where the houses are packed so tight you could literally (and I mean that in the literal sense of the word) borrow a cup of sugar by reaching through the window. No room for grass here - just house, pathway, house. Okay, it might have been low season but the only time we heard the neighbors is when one of them decided it was time to pressure wash his deck. (On average, the birds were considerably louder than the neighbors.)

Our current upstairs neighbor-slash-landlord is freakishly loud. The first week we moved in, they refinished their hardwood floors. Okay, we thought, that's not likely to reoccur. But the following week they discovered there had been some sort of plumbing leak that required them to jackhammer the tile flooring out as well. Okay, we thought, what's one more week?

Now that the floors are done, it seems their obsession is rearranging furniture and/or Morris dancing. (Note to self: maybe we should quit renting on the bottom floor.) Seriously, I don't know what they're doing up there. There's just two of them but it sounds like a herd of elephants up there. (That would be figuratively, not literally, as I've never heard a herd before. Overhead or otherwise.) Last night, it sounded like they were building furniture or something.

But just to make things fun, we also have ants - as of yesterday. Actually, I don't know how long we've had them; we've been out of town a while. We just got done (hopefully) battling ants at our "real" house and we had them on this latest vacation too (which was made considerably worse when one of the kiddies spilled juice in his backpack which wasn't discovered until the following morning). What's going on here?

Yesterday, we got to our "other place" and found more freaking ants.

It could be worse. These are the teeny tiny ones - I'll smush them with my finger. I don't think I would even touch another bug (unless my grandson asked me to. . . okay, maybe not even then). In fact, I couldn't handle the freaking butterfly room at the museum. I just thought they were all hairy moths with wings. No, thank you.

Do you think I could just take a nap and it will all go away? Probably not. There's too much marching: Marching upstairs. Marching downstairs.

(TV series?)

I Wasn't Stalking, Really

Well, sorta I was. I was looking for gallery opening press. Instead, I found this:

Cincinnat!.com - Mann: Why I challenged the bike-lane plans

Click on the photo; read the caption.

Go ahead.

There are probably narrow limits for the utility of being grumpy . . .

Says who?

The approximate moment when grumpiness kicks in for men, according to a recently released report, is around age 70. 

NPR - The Grumpy Point: When A Man Turns 70

 That explains some things, doesn't it?

Getting Ready

For what? Can't you email me or text or something if you're going to be late for work? Cuz if I knew you were going to take the day off, I would have brought my Apple. 

Delicious

Is it not ironic that people who buy organic fruits and vegetables put them in those little plastic bags at the grocery store?

And not just one, either.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Photograph by: Ward Perrin , Vancouver Sun

It's an illegal knob, that's what.

They've been outlawed in Vancouver. (The other one, in Canada.) That story was featured here earlier, But there was an unintended consequence.

Goldilocks may need a new golden lock if she wants to avoid her three unlikely friends. Door levers make it easier for the elderly and disabled to open doors, true. But it also makes it easier for bears.

"Told you so," say some.

"One newspaper columnist in the pro-knob camp has noted that the velociraptors in “Jurassic Park” were able to open doors by their handles." (Economist : Knobless oblige )

First bears. Then, velociraptors.

Talk about a slippery slope. 

Does a Post-Satire World Indicate the Death of Fantasy?

Article in Huffington Post by Jasper Fforde:

So am I worried? Not really. In a landscape of extremes, the story of an accountant living in Sidcup and not doing very much may very well become fantasy, and when it does: Tremble ye mortals, for the unbridled drama of double-entry bookkeeping will be unleashed upon the world.

Goofing Off is Work

I've been so busy doing absolutely nothing that I haven't had time to goof off. I had intentions of working on the latest installment of Now & Then: Carried Away (the one about water) this week but instead I chased grandkids for four days, visited with in-laws the next, and a high school chum the day after that.

Yesterday, I did pretty much nothing. Walked on the beach and rode bikes. Read. Didn't write one single word. Today will be more of the same. (Although, I'm waiting for the arrival of a Vespa from Cincinnati. At this pace, I think I'll be late for the gallery gala. Save some champaign for me, will you?)

I'm telling you, goofing off takes a certain devotion akin to work. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it - probably after vacation and I'm sitting in my office which is where I do some of my best goofing off. (Give me a task, and I'll do my best to avoid it, I assure you.)

Meanwhile, this is what I've been reading:

Visitation Street by Ivy Pachoda - This book takes place in Brooklyn and is a story of young people (mostly) and their struggles in finding their place in the world. What I loved best about this book was the quality and style of the writing. The author writes in the third person and in the present tense, each chapter focusing on a different character, winding and weaving all their stories together. She does it well and I liked this book as much for the writing as for the story. Maybe even more.

Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis (Introduction by Keith Gessen) - The original copyright date is 1953, the introduction copyrighted in 2012. I mention this because the Introduction was good; it enhanced my understanding of the author and Lucky Jim.

My favorite quote from the Introduction is "middle manager for a mustard manufacturer" (Kindle location 69), describing the author's father. Have no doubt that there will be a middle manager for a mustard manufacturer in the next Now & Then adventure: The Condiment Conglomerate.

On page 126 of the book (location 2171 of 4264), Amis writes:

"Your attitude measures up to the two requirements of love. You want to go to bed with her and can't, and you don't know her very well. Ignorance of the other person topped up with deprivation."

Followed by: "You'll find that marriage is a good short cut to the truth" on the next page (location 2180).

I loved the snarky, sarcastic tone of this book throughout and highlighted many passages.

Now, I'm reading The Color Purple by Alice Walker. This is an amazing story written in the form of a series of letters by two characters. (I'm about two-thirds of the way through it so I don't know if there will be other voices.) Again, I'm reading this for the writing as much as for the story (although this is a really, really great story). This technique allow for multiple voices and viewpoints and allows the author to quickly relate the passage of time over many years. Reading is always a good study of writing.

There's a lovely passage that begins on page 190 (location 1732 of 2817) that describes what God is - and isn't - and runs pretty much to the end of that chapter. It's too long to transcribe here but it was worth highlighting in my Kindle.

I love that feature. Recently, I discovered that all my notes are saved in my Kindle under My Clippings. Browsing there, I came across another quote about a chain of restaurants in L.A. called Zankou Chicken from the book Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage. by Rob Delaney. (Put that in your Charades hat and smoke it!) He recommends the chicken Tarna plate with their signature garlic paste:

Their proprietary blend of cinnamon, nutmeg, and garlic is as satisfying as a mid-grade sexual experience. It is genuinely exciting to eat their food; it's like your mouth is learning something as it chews. (location 1569-70)

Now, I have a goal today.

Lunch.

Life's A Beach

Up

Look What I Came Across

Janet has been asking about this and I finally came across it. My camera can act up and I can't always access the memory card for some reason. But it got full yesterday so I needed to dump it and, in doing so, I came across all the photos from our visit together.

I copied everything to my fancy new laptop and as soon as I figure out how to put them someplace where we can access them (iCloud or Shutterfly or something), I'll do that. 

Anyway, at least I know where they are now.

If you like a photo sharing site more than the others, let me know.

There Has To Be A Better Way

Donald Rumsfeld Says He Has 'Absolutely No Idea' If He Paid His Taxes Properly

He's not the only one.

I know a lot of people file their own taxes but you don't have to be too sophisticated before your finances are more sophisticated than you are. Things can get complicated in a hurry. Fortunately, there's help.

Or is there?

And at the heart of the issue is the need for tax simplification, says David Williams, chief tax officer at Intuit, maker of TurboTax software. "I could give you 20 different definitions of modified adjusted gross income," Williams says. "There are a lot of opportunities for tax simplification that stop short of eliminating the tax return." 

Audit: 17 of 19 paid tax preparers got it wrong (USA Today)

Why stop short? Let's get rid of it - the tax return. There's no need for it. Most people efile so we're halfway there. In fact, if you don't file a return the IRS is happy to prepare a tax return for you (for free!) and they'll send you a delightful little letter telling you how it all worked out.

They do that by using the information they already have: your W2, your interest and dividend income, your capital gains, and the amount of mortgage interest you paid. So why do we need to file a tax return at all?

Because the IRS doesn't get your charitable contributions, your real estate taxes paid, and other deductions, for example, but that could change, don't you think? Especially, since you might pay those things with a credit card and already do online banking. Every payment you make is electronic in some fashion.

Here's my latest gazillion dollar enterprise: eTax. It would be great if the government could figure this out. Even better, if I could and then sell it to the government. Or you. I don't care which. It's still worth a gazillion dollars.

Simply sign up. . . . (hahahaha)

Seriously, once the kinks are worked out, it'll be great.

The idea is you sign up (it would be elective, initially), the government sends you an email with the calculation of your tax return and you either accept it or reject it. There has to be a huge number of people who would just accept it. I'm sitting in a room with someone right now who does that already by not filing a tax return to get the refund he's owed. Sounds crazy but he just doesn't want to trouble himself with it.

The fact is, there are a lot of people who do that and for that reason alone eTax would work. There has to be a way to connect other transactions to the grid. Some would be easier than others - like major charitable organizations. If you donate to United Way with a credit card, that would register as a charitable contribution with the IRS, for example.

Assuming it could ever get done, it would put H&R Block out of business. My firm too, eventually. But it makes sense. The reporting requirements of financial institutions is getting ever more sophisticated which might be burdensome until the computer code is written, tested, and works. (This year's reporting of capital gains was much easier due to regulations concerning basis reporting in earlier years.) It can happen.

Just saying.

Long Day

If they would only do this at the same time…

Getting Spoiled

Still doing taxes in my sleep. They say that will go away. Eventually. 

There's Always That Guy

2pm - new client walks in the door.

Day's not over yet.

Palindromatic

Every Date This Week Is a Palindrome

See? The day has barely started and already I'm goofing off!

Getting back to normal . . .