Could have been a disaster, but wasn't.

I don't know what's up with my local grocery store. Over the last few months, on several occasions, I've come home with bad produce. It looked good in the store but was it was rotten when I cut into it, or was spoiled in the package. I've never paid much attention to the Best By dates on the packaged stuff. But, maybe it's time. They looked okay from the outside....

Yesterday, however, it got personal. I had purchased packaged coffee beans the day before and was looking forward to grinding some fresh beans for my first cup of the work week. I mean, if you have to work, you need something to look forward to. Especially, on a Monday morning. Friday is a loooong way off.

When I went to open the bag, releasing the trapped coffee aroma from within, I found the bag had been previously opened. No escaping coffee vapors and, worse, possibly tainted coffee! This would have been a complete disaster - a zombie apocalypse - if I didn't still have some coffee beans leftover from the previous bag.



After work, it was back to the store to get another bag of coffee. I checked the seal in the store before I left, lest we have a repeat of Monday's fail on Tuesday.

This morning, I finally got the fresh cup of coffee that I yearned for and it was everything I dreamed of. The slight suck of the coffee bag as the seal is broken, the air rushing into the once vacuum packed bag. The odor of fresh roasted coffee so alluring I want to breathe it in all day. The savory, creamy richness of a caffè Americano. The first cup from a fresh bag is the best.

After my coffee orgasm, I dumped the old beans on top of the new beans as is my habit. I figure it's easier to scoop the old ones off the top of the new bag than scooping them out of the bottom of the last bag. As I was doing so, I spilled beans all over my counter. They were the old beans, not the new ones, but eyeballing them I quickly estimated they amounted to the equivalent of half a cup of coffee. They must be saved!

I slid them into the coffee bag I had worked so hard for but as I did I wondered Actually, how clean was my counter? 

The answer was clear. Does. Not. Matter.

This is as political as I'm going to get.

On the night after the election, we went to downtown Portland. There had been a protest the night before and early in the day, just after election night, I was a little nervous about it. As the day wore on, however, my sense of panic eased to the point where I wasn't planning on leaving the country just yet. I remain committed to renew my passport, however, seeing as I live relatively close to a border that, as of yet, has no wall.

We were going downtown to see David Sedaris who was speaking at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. It was going to be an NPR crowd, I reasoned. The crowd was bound to be made up of sleepy pacifists. Still, Hubby was worried about what to wear. "I just don't want to look like a Republican," he told me.

We took Uber and as our driver pulled up we could hear his radio blaring through closed windows. As soon as we opened the door, he switched stations from the Def Leppard song he was rocking out to, to a smooth jazz station. Is that what we look like, smooth jazz people?

A few days later, we were taking it easy in our Bellevue home - the Hyatt - and switched on the TV to find it wasn't working properly. Nice thing about having the Hyatt as your second residence, you can just call some guy up to fix little problems like that. A pimply faced youngster with a tool belt soon appeared and fussed with a few switches on the back of the TV and within mere moments, he had it tuned to TCM. Is that what we look like, TCM people?

Yes, as it turns out. We told our Uber driver to switch the station back to the rock station which turned out to be an '80s pop hits station. The next song was by Debbie Gibson and we found ourselves longing for the smooth jazz station. As for TCM, we ended up watching a Natalie Wood movie marathon.

So, yes, we look like smooth jazz people. And, TCM people. I guess that's better than looking like a Republican.

Is it possible to have too many socks?

Here's my solution for cleaning up my sock drawer.

The sox box.

First, I put all my socks in a shoe box and slid it under my bed. I find hiding things there the best way to deal with things. There are lots of things down there.

Next, I did laundry. Any socks that came out of the dryer were ones I wore within the last laundry cycle. I put those away in the sock drawer. I now have exactly seven pairs of clean socks in the drawer - socks I recently wore so presumably they still work fine as socks.

New rule: I can only wear socks from the shoe box under the bed if the socks in the drawer fail to adequately supply my hosiery needs. I need the ones with the pink stripes, for example, because they're the perfect choice for under my boots. Or the pink socks with the martini glasses on them because it's New Year's Eve. Socks called upon to be worn from the box are then granted residency back in the sock drawer.

Theory: By the next time we are supposed to change the clocks around again, I should have the perfect supply of socks in my sock drawer, all worn within the last six months. All socks that I chose to wear because they made me feel good. The perfect supply of socks required to keep my feet warm for one winter. Anything left in the box gets donated.

I'll let you know how it all works out.

This is how we do it on the Left

Who won?

Wore my Cubs hat to the grocery store which generated a few comments including this:

Who won?

"Like?"

L

Whoa

October

Followed a fire truck into the grocery parking lot the other day. It was one of the big ones where there's a guy whose job it is to steer the back wheels. It was super cool but even better was the effect it had on little kids who were thrilled to see the big rig roll in. They stopped in their tracks, tugged at their parents' hands, and waved at the firemen.

Nobody waves at an accountant. Little kids waved at me when I drove my Z3 but I think it had to do more with the car.

My house is a mess and it's dark outside when my alarm clock goes off. I would blame the mess on the remaining days of Tax Season Part II but it might have a little something to do with laziness. Why clean when I could, say, find a nearby brewery? And, I could probably get away with sleeping in if it weren't for those pesky tax returns that need to get finished.

If it wasn't for my birthday and a trip to Hawaii that awaits me in about a week, I would just call October off. Alas, work awaits me know. I wonder if I'll remember how to goof off when it's all over?

National Coffee Day!

In my world, every day is coffee day.

Make America Great Again!

... and bring back common sense!

I just got a check in the mail for 17 cents from my insurance company. I have no idea why. I was thinking about using it to make my grocery list. Instead, I think I'll send it back to them. See if someone's head explodes.

I used to have a bus pass for King County Metro. I go there often enough that it made sense for me to have one with a small pre-paid balance. I had used it up all up about year ago so went online and loaded another $10 to the card. Just a few weeks ago I went to use the card and was informed there was no balance on it.

I looked into it and found my credit card had been charged the $10 so I asked King County Metro where it went and found out they have a Use-It-Or-Lose it policy. If I don't use the card within 60 days of loading money to it, they just keep it for themselves. But, just for me, they would re-apply the $10 - provided, of course, I use it in the next 60 days.

I don't live there, I explained. Was there another way to activate the card? Sure, they advised. I could also go to a retail location where Metro cards are purchased or reloaded. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of buying it online? Not only that, I don't live there.

Could the money be refunded? Why, yes, we can refund that. The fee for that, however is $10.

I have another bus card for where I live which, until recently, was on a bus line. This was quite handy especially since I sold my car. I can get to almost anywhere I need to go on foot or by bicycle but every once in a while it was nice to be able to take the 5-minute bus ride into town. So, I bought a pre-paid card for Clark County as well.

This system worked well until the first of September when the route that went by my place was discontinued. Now a 5-minute ride is a 30-40 minute journey. I don't suppose they'll refund the unused balance of the card.  Maybe I'll donate it somewhere. Along with a check for $0.17.

This, somehow, strikes me as funny.

New tax on Chicago residents will fund pension shortfall - CNN Money

" Chicago residents and businesses will face a new tax on their water and sewage usage next year to help shore up a pension fund for municipal employees. " 

Push Ups for a Cause

I'm doing 22 push-ups for 22 days and posting about it on Facebook. It's one of those "viral" internet things designed to raise awareness, in this case, of the 22 veterans who commit suicide each day. This is an important issue of which we need to be aware. It's sad and it's shameful that so many are unable to get the help they need. This is true not only for our veterans but also for the 96 other people -  civilians - who commit suicide each day.

According a report by the Office of Suicide Prevention, an average of 19 Veterans died per day by suicide in 2001. This number increased slightly from 2001 to a high of 21 per day in 2010, with a subsequent decrease to 20 per day in 2011 and remaining stable since that time. In contrast, the average number of civilian adults who died by suicide each day has increased steadily from 62 per day in 2001 to 93 per day in 2014. According to the Centers for Disease Control, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.
The Office of Suicide Prevention also reports the risk for suicide was 21 percent higher among Veterans when compared with U.S. civilian adults in 2014. This calculation takes into account statistical adjustments that I am not prepared to discuss. The point, however, isn't to minimize the significance of veteran suicide with statistics - or push-ups. The point is veteran suicide needs to be part of a larger discussion because suicide affects us all.

Looking Good

Fashion is something I do not get. If I look put together, I can assure you it was either accidental or someone else picked my outfit. Take, for example, longs. Longs are anti-shorts, longer than pedal pushers but shorter than floods worn, if ever, by men made fashionable in the late 60’s by my father. And, maybe one other dude spotted earlier this year in a Walgreens parking lot.

Another fashion concept: “boyfriend” fill-in-the-blanks. Boyfriend shirt. Boyfriend jersey. Boyfriend jeans.

Pre-ripped? Ripped, torn jeans used to be earned, not purchased. You had to wear them until you wore them out. Of course, when that happened, they ripped at the knee or butt. The fabric didn’t just open salaciously at intervals along the thigh.

Imagine my surprise when I came upon designer acid-washed, pre-ripped boyfriend longs. (Who washes their jeans in acid?)

For $80. On sale. Which means, at some point, they were priced at something more than $80. $100? More? $100 longs? Oh, joy! (I still have trouble wrapping my head around $100 denim of any variety!)

Without thinking, I grabbed a pair along with a pair of skinny jeans and sought out a dressing room.

Skinny jeans are another concept I haven’t come to terms with. In my day, we just called them tight. I seem to recall soaking new jeans in a bathtub in an attempt to shrink them to perfect tightness. A) I have no idea why. B) It never worked.

Now, you can buy them “skinny.” So skinny, in fact, no living human being can actually wear them. They are a result of an overstock of pants from another planet of stick people shipped to Earth by mistake.

I managed to get a pair on as far as my knees, then seriously considered laying down and calling for help to get them back off. (Thankfully, I managed without assistance.)

The boyfriend jeans were tight. Not skinny tight but they definitely didn’t look like I had borrowed them from any boy so I tried on another pair one size larger. These were way more comfortable but looked exactly like I had borrowed them and I realized I had no desire to borrow any boy’s pants. Ever.

And, then, I don’t know how this happened, I bought them - those $80 boyfriend longs. The tight ones. With holes in them. They’re uncomfortable but Hubby described them as cute weekend jeans.

He had me at “cute” but weekend jeans? I couldn’t even imagine a weekend when I would wear these. Travel? A restaurant? Visiting friends? (Maybe.) I could wear them to paint baseboards but are you kidding? I’m not wearing $80 jeans to paint! (Also, have you met me? Not a chance you’ll find me painting baseboards!) So, now I have uncomfortable pants that I can’t wear anywhere.

But “cute,” he said.

And since I work from home, they’re my weekday pants. (Why wait for the weekend?) Definitely, a move in the right direction from yoga pants (on a good day) or pajamas!

At least, they’re fashionable.

It's Tax Season 2.0 so . . .