Its The Sugar

I used to think Starbucks lattes were laced with crack which was what made them so addictive. I can't say one way or the other if there's crack in there but I can tell you, there's a whole lot of sugar.

Compared to what? I usually order a double-tall soy latte whenever I order coffee. At Starbucks, that means 210 calories and 21 grams of sugar according to their nutritional information. When I make it at home, I use Kirkland brand vanilla soy milk. According to one website, that translates to 100 calories and 7 grams of sugar. I'd look at the package but I'm all out of soy milk and my local Costco isn't too keen about restocking it.

Getting my latte at Starbucks means more than double the calories and three times as much sugar. Still, 21 grams of sugar doesn't seem like so much. If I ordered a soy latte with whole milk, I'd still get 19 grams of sugar (for only 30 calories more). Interestingly enough, there's 19 grams of sugar in instant cocoa, according to WebMD. Also,

So how much exactly is a gram of sugar? One teaspoon of granulated sugar equals 4 grams of sugar. To put it another way, 16 grams of sugar in a product is equal to about 4 teaspoons of granulated sugar. 

Keep in mind, though, that the grams of sugar listed on the nutrition information label includes natural sugars from fruit (fructose) and milk (lactose) as well as added sweeteners like refined sugar or high-fructose corn syrup. That’s why the label on a carton of regular low-fat milk says there's 13 grams of sugar per cup. And that’s why the grams of sugar per serving in Raisin Bran (or any cereal with raisins or other dried fruit) seem unexpectedly high.

I'm not sure about the math, though. Starbuck's website says a 12 oz soy latte provides 50% of the daily recommended intake of calcium. The other website says an 8 oz serving of the Costco soy provides 25% of the recommended calcium. Presumably, part of the 12 oz latte is made up of coffee and, last I checked, there is no calcium in espresso.

Interestingly, you would only get 160 calories and 10 grams of sugar if you ordered a double-tall soy latte in Canada, with the same 50% of recommended calcium. I never could figure out the metric system.

Costco hasn't restocked their soy in several weeks so I've been forced to get my lattes at Starbucks.

And now I know where my muffin top came from.

It's The Water

The Olympia Brewing Company had the right idea. You have to start with good water to make a good beer. Regardless, good water is generally a good idea. If you're making something that requires water as a basic component, however, it isn't always apparent that the quality of the water would make a difference. Especially, if you can't necessarily taste the difference in the water all by itself. Or, if the other ingredient(s) might be considered to have an overpowering flavor or quality.

Like coffee.

I recently reported that I got a new, used, coffee maker for my Portland-area apartment. I love the coffee I make in my Seattle-area home so I was thrilled to finally be able to make a rich cup of coffee at my other location. It was definitely better than what I was drinking before but it wasn't quite right.

I figured the problem was the cheap grinder I bought when I suddenly ran out of ground coffee one day. I had a cache of beans but no grinder. In a pinch, I bought the first (and only) burr grinder that I came upon at Fred Meyer. Otherwise, I would have had to forgo my cup of joe the following morning and as we should know by now, gentle readers, that was wholly unacceptable.

My brother recently told me he uses bottled water in his coffee maker and when a well-intentioned individual used tap water one morning, he could tell the difference. It never occurred to me that the water could make a difference when it came to making strong, black coffee. I always thought it was all about the coffee.

I conducted an experiment. The next time I traveled to my Portland-area apartment, I imported Seattle water (Brita filtered tap water) and ground coffee using my Seattle-based grinder. I put them both in my Portland-based coffee maker and voilà! I had the best cup of coffee I've had in three years outside my Seattle-area home.

The next day I used coffee ground in my $30 Fred Meyer grinder with the Seattle water. It was still better than what I was drinking before but it wasn't as good as Seattle-ground coffee with Seattle water. This led me to conclude that I need to either continue importing Seattle water and pre-ground coffee or I would need to build a coffee pipeline between my two locations.

I'm working on a grant application to fund the pipeline project because I think Congress might be in the mood to fund such a thing. In it, I address ecological concerns thusly:

Leaks from the pipeline won't kill anyone, won't explode, and will only marginally affect groundwater. You might end up with some agitated salmon but it probably won't kill anything. Except, possibly, rust and/or weeds. Further, it is anticipated that a coffee spill may even serve to counter the effects of earlier oil and/or gasoline spills and would behave, in this instance, as an ecological eraser. It is anticipated there is a less than one tenth of one percent chance that this coffee pipeline would rupture concurrently and in the same vicinity as a collision involving a truck carrying ice cream, cookies, and/or chocolate. However, I would personally oversee the cleanup in such an unlikely event.

Full disclosure: I don't live in Seattle. I live near Seattle so I make no representations with regard to Seattle water. What I do represent is that water does make a difference.

Slow Leak

I get oil spills in the Gulf are bad. Burst pipelines are bad. Long trains full of oil are hazardous. What I'm wondering is how much is leaking under my house. Or yours. 

My first house used to have oil heat. The tank was underground and we had to get it decommissioned before we sold the house even though it was converted to gas heat long before we bought the place. 

My current house has gas heat and I'm guessing that the guys who installed it weren't rocket scientists. In fact, when we had a gas dryer installed in the old house I kind of remember they tested the gas connection by spraying soapy water on it. Not very sophisticated. 

My point is there's a human element involved in all this leaky business and with so many homes relying on gas or oil for fuel, we could have a huge exposure of leaking fuel right below our feet. 

Doesn't grab headlines like a train on fire though. 

Stock Up

Weather warning for those of you on the Right: It's raining on the Left which wouldn't be news except I just passed a house where they're building an ark in the front yard. A loud, booming voice kept saying something about cubits.

All this weather is probably headed your way. If it's below freezing where you are, you're going to see snow and if all this rain is any indication, you should probably stock up on Spam.

Happenings

Tax season is in full swing which probably doesn't help my elbows any. It's not yet a 24/7 schedule, but things are getting pretty busy around here. So much so that I hardly have time for goofing off although I'm thinking about it all the time. It may be time to hire a professional surrogate. 

To top things off we need to move again. It turns out our landlord in our Vancouver location is crazy and she's asked us in no uncertain terms to leave. Fortunately, we have a lease so she can't kick us out but it's clear we need to find something else. 

We're tired of moving every year so we're thinking of buying something down there. The problem is timing. We just don't have time for house hunting, furniture buying, and moving. Not until after April 15 so we could have another couple months of an uncomfortable living situation. 

I had a minute so I thought I would touch base to let you know that all is well, all things considered. Just busy. 

It's a Wrap

Elbow recovery has been slow.

Dancing at Lughnasa

Heard this was a good movie. In case there's a quiz later on, this is what it's about.

Are we on the map now?

Thousands of Seattle kids skip school on Seahawks parade day

Seattle Public Schools reported that more than 13,000 students and 565 teachers were absent from school Wednesday morning, most likely to join the estimated 700,000 screaming, joyous, freezing fans at the Seahawks victory parade in downtown Seattle.

We give our kids the day off for snow, sun, or Seahawks.

Special, Indeed.

And Seattle was flashy on special teams, with Percy Harvin’s 87-yard kickoff return to start the second half putting it up 29-0, essentially sealing the deal.

. . . “I’m trying to be nice about it,’’ said receiver Golden Tate, “but we know that we have a special group of guys. ..."

Seahawks dominate Denver from start to finish to win Super Bowl

Hauschka like them apples?

We live within walking distance of the Seahawks training facility and we drive by its entrance every day. Yesterday, people were taking their pictures in front of the sign that marks it. 

There were still people taking pictures in front of the Seahawks sign this morning. At 6am. 

Don't ask what I was doing driving by that sign before sunrise. Suffice it to say I have a long commute. 

No one can really call it a good game but folks around here aren't concerned with that. Today, people are driving to work with smiles on their faces. Metro buses have "Go Seahawks!" in lights where their route numbers ought to be. People are in a good mood and no one is blue this Monday. 

Go Hawks! We'll see you in Glendale next year!

Just a couple of things to keep in mind as you watch the big game today. First, if you had a very large retail space wherein you sold wall receptors for two- and three-pronged plugs, you could call it the Outlet Mall.

Also, in the game "Rocks, Paper, Scissors" paper beats rock, scissors beat paper, and raptors eat untrained horses.

Meet the Most Special Boys in the NFL

There seems to be some confusion about what kind of animal Seattle's football team is named after. Why not? There's a lot of confusion surrounding Seattle itself. Like, where the hell is it? It's out west somewhere, right? In the Land of Starbucks.

BuzzFeed

Well, that's close enough, I guess.

But, let's be clear about one thing. The Seattle football team (and we're not talking about soccer here) is named after a hawk not a bird, OKAY? A hawk is a bird of prey not just any old feathered, winged, two-legged, warm-blooded, egg-laying vertebrate. A Seahawk is otherwise known as an osprey which is a freaking raptor. A raptor is a bird that hunts and feeds on other animals. Like broncos. Which, by the way is an untrained horse.

So there.

Now that's out of the way, I'd like to introduce you to the Seattle Seahawks' (not Seabirds) Special Teams. These are boys that are so special that no one would love them but their own mothers. I'm not trying to be cruel here but when was the last time you saw someone wearing the jersey for the Gunner or the Long Snapper? (btw, the Center is nothing but a Short Snapper, but I digress.) Even their moms can't make it to all the games so somebody's got to love them.

When the Special Teams takes the field, that's when everyone leaves to refresh their beers or go to the can. Not me. I stand and shout, "Go, Clint Gresham!"

#49 Clint Gresham is our Long Snapper. It's an interesting position because it requires lightening skill and accuracy, can't be touched by the defense, and is something you can learn and master well enough to get you a college scholarship by borrowing a video tape from the library. #86 Zack Miller is the backup LS (good initials, no?) but he's also a Tight End which makes Gresham all the more special.

Gresham's better side.

I like the Gunners just because who the hell knew there were Gunners on a football team? They are #20 Corner Back Jeremy Lane, #41 Corner Back Byron Maxwell and sometimes #83 Wide Receiver Ricardo Lockette. Even though they play other positions, what makes them special is you can't just find a depth chart somewhere or look up the Seahawks roster and find out who the gunner is. They don't exist.

See? No gunners according to ESPN's depth chart.

Not as special as Jon Ryan.

That brings us to #9 Jon Ryan. He plays the Holder and the Punter. You can't get more special than that!

The Kick Returners are very important people but they're only a little special because they have other jobs. #89 Doug Baldwin and #19 Bryan Walters are both Wide Receivers. But not even the third Kick Returner's mom loves the last Kick Returner because she named her son Christine and you know he got beat up a lot in school. #33 (double-three!) Running Back Christine Michael is very special indeed.

Punt Returners are just like Kick Returners, only different. They are #81 (good year!) Wide Receiver Golden Tate (C'mon, Golden? That's the very definition of special!) and #25 Corner Back Richard Sherman (who will be first to tell how exactly how special he is.)

Last, but by no means least, we have #4 Steven Hauschka as Kicker (for field goals and kickoffs). He's special because he's scored 143 points for the Seattle Seahawks this year which, I believe, makes him the highest scorer for the team. From now on, every time he kicks it for three you need to yell, "Hauschka like them apples!" and give someone a high three.

And remember this, when you're eating chicken wings this Sunday they came from a bird, not from a hawk!

Tax Season Officially Starts Today!

Who says accountants don't have a sense of humor? Pencils? Also, they forgot chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

As you begin gearing up for tax season, you are probably anticipating the impending stress and fatigue — the late nights, broken pencils and take-out food. Oh yeah, and coffee … lots and lots of coffee. Are you ready for 11th-hour changes to IRS rules or new last-minute tax regulations? Feeling confident calculating the new net investment income tax? Keeping up with these types of changes while staying one step ahead of your inbox can be a daunting task. But it doesn’t have to be. The AICPA® Tax Section can help.

In May I tweeted: I dreamt I had no elbows and couldn't drink my coffee. Now, it's freaking true!

Are You Evading Me?

KUOW (94.9 FM Seattle) recently aired an interview with Dean Baker, economist and co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research in Washington, DC. They were discussing the effect of higher tax rates on the wealthy that will be in effect for those filing tax returns for 2013.

In it Baker says, "There's a lot of very clever accountants who have as their job finding ways to evade taxes."

The interview, How Rising Taxes For Wealthy Americans Will Impact Economic Inequality is just over six minutes long and he makes this statement at 5:31. He uses the word "avoid" at 5:48 but uses "evading" at 6:03. The word avoid was associated with "these people" - presumably, wealthy people. But he refers to accountants both times when he used the words evade and evading.

Perhaps I heard him incorrectly but, just to be clear, these terms are not interchangeable and, while I know a lot of clever accountants, I don't know ANY whose job it is to evade taxes.

Avoiding taxes is legal; evading them is not. When you take a mortgage interest deduction, for example, you are avoiding paying higher taxes. Some might consider this a loophole; others consider it a god-given right. In either case, it's perfectly legal.

People go to jail for a long time for tax evasion. Anyone remember a guy named Al Capone?

The other five and a half minutes of the interview are pretty interesting. Worth a listen, even. But I take exception to the idea that accountants are all about evading taxes. Some, maybe, but let's not put all accountants in the same category, okay?

All In!

3D

Took him to his first 3D movie yesterday.

Mind. Blowing.

The grin in on his face after the show was . . . no words can describe it.

Then, he started to talk about how Denver was going to win the Super Bowl.

So, I poked him in the other eye.

Actually, no. I wouldn't do that to my little brother. But, I'll tell you what I would do. Yesterday we changed out all the exterior flood lights on our house to green and blue. One green light shone outside the guest bedroom window. All. Night. Long.

He had no choice but to dream of a Seahawks victory.

And, I got him this:

Buy it here.

It's hard not to get swept up in the Seahawks frenzy. In fact, he came up with this: When Hauschka kicks the winning field goal next week, my little brother's going to yell

Hauschka like them apples?!

Quick! Contact the Washington State Apple Commission. . . .

Good looking!

My brother saw me for the first time in thirty-seven years.

You know how they say, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye"? Well, they're talking about my brother. He's that guy. The guy whose eye got poked out.

He was ten and his eye didn't exactly get poked out but it did get poked and he became legally blind in that eye as a result. He had three surgeries that year none of which could save his vision but which did save his eye.

The technology didn't exist four decades ago to repair his vision so he went through the remainder of his childhood, adolescence, and into middle age without the advantage of depth perception or even peripheral vision on his left side.

A baseball career was definitely out of the question.

But things changed. Surgical technologies advanced and he got a job with good healthcare coverage. It took thirty-seven years but he was finally in a position to get his vision back.

It turns out the surgeons did more than save his eye all those years ago. When they removed the lens in his left eye, they did so in such a way that left his eye in the best shape possible to receive a new lens nearly four decades later without much restorative work. The surgery went better than expected and he could see - for the first time in thirty-seven years - the very next day.

The last time he saw me in 3D, I was 13. It's pretty cool to finally be seen by my little brother. Really, really cool.

"It's nice to see you," has been the understatement of the day.

My elbow patches are made out of ice. They're not stitched to my sweater. Instead, they're held in place with rubber bands.

I would make a funny looking professor with ice bags dangling from my elbows. Actually, I make a funny looking anything with ice bags dangling from my elbows.

Progress has been slow.

Just got a trackball mouse. We'll see if that helps.

Kroozing

I just noticed that Krispy Kreme has a drive through window. Do we really need this? I mean if you're going to get in your car to drive somewhere to get a' donut, shouldn't you have to at least get out of your car and walk to the counter?

I mean, how lazy can a person get? Makes sense, though. You don't have to get out of your car to do much of anything anymore: bank, dine, shop, watch a movie, and pick up your prescription. You can even wash your car without getting out of your car.

I don't know. If you can't spell crispy and creme without using Ks, you might as well drive through. No need to tax yourself. Just saying.

Meanwhile, Burgerville is becoming my favorite fast food restaurant.

The chain uses 100% wind power for all of its restaurants and headquarters, and is the largest chain in America to do so.

Yes, they have drive through windows. But they also have food.