It's Five O'Clock Somewhere (or Tick Tock Not Part Two)

My watch is still dead due to the lack of an available jeweler to replace its dead battery. But my phone works (yay!). The microwave tells me the time but the oven does not. It's in a different time zone no matter how often I try to re-set it. The thermostat tells time but will only follow three of the four instructions I've got programmed into it. It confuses 6 pm with 9 pm. Gremlins.

We also have a battery-powered clock on our living room wall. It is large and easy to read, visible from all parts of the main living space. It annoyingly calls out each and every second with loud ticks. Maybe not so much tocks. Just incessant tick tick ticks. It's incessant and loud. Want to watch TV? Better turn up the volume.

It's Five O'Clock right here!

Want to take a nap? Tick. Tick. Tick.

Trying to read? Tick, Tick, Tick.

Have a headache? TICK. TICK. TICK.

Just trying to freaking think? TICK! TICK! TICK!

It didn't even tell the correct time! The time had run out on my patience and I ripped its freaking guts out. Yards away, life saving batteries sit on my counter but this clock shall not be saved.

Yet, I've given it new life. A new purpose. I set the hands at twelve and five. Here, in Southern California, I like to call it Calipermication. You can just call it Five O'Clock.

And enjoy the blissful silence.