It was a slightly dark and cold morning. Not raining, not cold, but still I wanted to wear something cozy. Not as heavy as a sweater, I was thinking as I stared into my closet. That's when it hit me. I don't own any flannel!
I have a scarf with the classic tartan pattern but that's the closest I get to flannel. How is this even possible? I live in the Pacific Northwest! (Portlandia, or nearly so, no less.) I drink beer! I'm definitely not in step with local customs. Could this, in fact, be illegal?
Maybe I never saw flannel as fitting into an office wardrobe but I moved my office into my house years ago so I can wear whatever I want. Maybe I didn't see it as very nice "date wear." Hello? PNW!
I did buy some hiking boots recently so that's a step in the right direction. But they're actual hiking boots, not the boots that are intended to be fashionable with skinny jeans while appearing hiking-boot-like. So now I need flannel and boots.
How is there not a Flannel and Boots store on every block, sandwiched in between the coffee shops and microbreweries? How is it that breweries don't sell flannel? At least, they don't bar non-flannel wearing customers.
Surely, people have noticed and I'm embarrassed in the same way that everything is fine until someone points out, after the party, that your fly was down the whole time. Why didn't someone say something sooner?
As soon as the weather is dry enough to bike, I'll pedal to the nearest organic flannel and vegan boot store in Portland. That should set things right.
No comments:
Post a Comment