March Madness

Now that it's absolutely clear that you've blown your New Year Resolution, you may be of the mind to re-commit to a weight loss and/or fitness ideal. With the changing of the clocks and subtle hints of Spring, one is tempted to believe that warm weather is only a few weeks away and that time remains to get in shape before one sheds one's winter clothing.

May 1st - only six weeks away - is Opening Day for boaters in Seattle, however it is generally guaranteed to be wet and rainy. Summer in the Pacific Northwest doesn't start until July 5th and only runs through the end of August. Which is to say, some of us have more time than others to prepare.

Your fitness tip of the day is this: Isometrics

...a form of physical exercise in which a set of muscles is tensed briefly....

The concept is simpler to understand if you break the word down into it's etymological parts:

Iso - comes from the Greek word for isolate. In employing isometrics, one isolates the muscle or muscles to be strengthened.

Metrics - comes from Europe and no one really knows what it means. It never really caught on in the United States. For our purposes, it is somewhat irrelevant as we will be concentrating on the Iso- part of the equation and success of the method will no doubt be measured in inches anyway.

To begin, we must select the muscle we want to tone and a great place to start for beginners is the abdomen. Ready? Squeeeeze, and hold. No, no - don't let it out. Just squeeeeze, and hold.

Now you may wonder if this exercise requires any special equipment or, more importantly, new clothes. If properly executed, no equipment is required but very likely you may have already noticed that you need new pants. When you suck in your gut, your pants are likely to fall down. You may be tempted to purchase pants containing Spandex to correct this problem but you would be strongly cautioned.

 Spandex is

A synthetic fiber or fabric ... used in the manufacture of elastic clothing.

and a major cause of obesity in the United States. Again, referring to the word's etymology, we see that "spandex" is an anagram of "expands." Instead of inspiring confidence to one who would suck in one's gut, it has had to a much larger extent, allowed people to feel quite comfortable in letting theirs out.

In conclusion, remember to work on your abdomen in isolation (isometrics), and buy suspenders.