Tuesday, July 2, 2019

File these under Totally Unnecessary

Dunkin Donuts Lip Balm - As tempted as you might be, please do not get this for my birthday. Or, for any other reason.

Slurpee Home Delivery - 7-Eleven will now deliver your Slurpee directly to your couch. With their 7Now: Food & Alcohol Delivery app (on Apple or Android), 7-Eleven can also deliver your Slurpee, as well as a six-pack of Bud Light and a Snickers bar, directly to a park bench near you. While I have no need for a Slurpee - ever - there were times when I wanted a pizza delivered to my boat. While that's not available yet, Domino's is close. Their service, like 7-Eleven's, involves delivery to "hot spots" which, in my neighborhood, includes the local high school.

Coffee that tastes like S'Mores - a "limited edition" coffee with "marshmallow & and graham notes." I've always stood up for you, Starbucks - mostly because I'm hopelessly addicted to your overly-roasted goodness - but this I cannot defend. Can we make this coffee a little more limited? Like, extinct?

What's necessary is unadulterated, black coffee. What's necessary is a collection of at least 25 moisturizers, each with a specific purpose (e.g., one for the delicate tissue around your eyes, one for sagging kneecaps, etc.). What's totally necessary is multiple pairs of black shoes.

The rest I can do without.

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